“What d’you think?”
What I think is that a hotel-room tryst with Jamie Reynolds sounds spectacularly unappealing to me right now. In fact,Jamie Reynoldsis spectacularly unappealing to me right now; which isn’t something I ever thought I’d say.
But I don’t know this man. Or particularlywantto know him any more. Because, all of a sudden, it’s crystal clear to me that what I told Alex last night was true: I’ve been nostalgic for something that didn’t actually exist. Jamie wasn’t the first love of my life. He wasn’t special. He was just one of those people who are popular for being popular; and once you take them out of high school, and away from the people who used to surround them all the time, you realize there’s not much to them, really. Or nothing of substance, anyway.
He might have been popular, but he’s definitely not ‘cool’. And I’m not sureIwant to be that either,any more.
“No thanks, Jamie,” I say firmly. “I think I’ll give it a miss, if it’s okay with you. Sorry.”
He blinks in surprise.
… I just thought—”
“I know what you thought,” I tell him, “And I’m sorry. But I just see you as a friend.”
I smile kindly. Then, before he can say anything to this, I turn and walk away.
I just turned down Jamie Reynolds.
My teenage self would never forgive me.
But my current self feels pretty damn good about it, actually.
Twenty-One
The metallic shell of the quad bike is gleaming under the hot sun. I hang back as we approach it to let Alex get on first, but he stops in his tracks, and I go walking straight into him.
“After you,” he says, politely stepping back.
“No, you go,” I tell him. “You’re the driver, after all.”
He looks at me speculatively.
“I was thinking you could drive us back,” he says, as casually as if he’s suggesting I do something I’m actually capable of. As if he’s mistaken me for the much cooler version of myself that seems doomed to exist only in my head. “What do you say?”
“Um, I say you’re insane,” I reply. “You saw me back at the training place. I didn’t leave a single traffic cone standing.”
“That’s true,” he says seriously. “Have you ever tried playing video games? I think you’d be pretty good at the ones where you have to take out a bunch of targets. Seriously, though; you wanted to ride a bike. And I know this isn’t quite what you had in mind, but even so, don’t you think you should give it a go?”
“I did,” I remind him. “The guy told me I had no control, then banned me from riding alone. I don’t think he’d be very impressed if he saw me trying to drive this thing.”
“So we’ll make sure he doesn’t see you.”
Alex nods in the direction of the tour leader, who’s busy loading the cool box back onto his bike. He’s not looking at us. Which means…
“No,” I say, shaking my head decisively. “He told me not to. It’s against the rules.”
“And what do you think your Fairy Godmother would say about that if she were here?” Alex says teasingly. “Because I think she’d say rules are meant to be broken. Don’t you?”
“That… does sound like something she might say,” I admit, ignoring the fact that I only spoke to the crone in question for less than 10 minutes, and have no idea what she’d say about me riding a quad bike. Weirdly enough, the topic didn’t come up during our New Year’s Eve conversation. The thought of the FG and her warning, though, combined with the revelation that Jamie Reynoldsisn’tthe reason I came here, suddenly makes me think this isexactlythe kind of thing she’d tell me to do.
“You can do this, Summer,” says Alex firmly, seeing me hesitate. “I know you can. I wouldn’t risk getting on behind you if I didn’t believe in you, would I?”
I take a hesitant step towards the bike.
“Come on, you two,” yells Chloe, who’s already up behind Jamie. “We’re going. And no funny stuff this time!”
They roar off to take their place at the end of the line of bikes, which are snaking their way out of the viewpoint and back onto the trail. I watch them for a second, then reach for the helmet that’s hanging from one of the handlebars and put it on.
