I feel his breath on my hair as his arm tightens around my shoulder, pulling me closer, and I have to force myself to relax and pretend this is just a nice, friendly hug. Just two people trying to keep warm, that’s all. Nothing more to it than that; and even though my body currently feels like it’s about to snap in two from all the tension, I’m sure Jett’s feeling totally relaxed… isn’t he?
“I don’t actually mind the weather,” he says sleepily, confirming my suspicions. “It’s nice listening to the rain against the window. Relaxing.”
“Yeah. I guess it is,” I whisper back, feeling anything but relaxed.
As his breathing slows, I allow my hand to sneak out across his chest, hugging him closer as I try to figure out how I’m feeling right now. Disappointment over the way he fell asleep without trying to make a move on me fights with the relief that he didn’t put me in the position of having to work out how to respond if he had done. Because I know I’m attracted to him — that much is pretty obvious. But I also know that getting involved with Jett Carter would be the kind of mistake that could only end one way: with me getting my heart broken.
Of all the things Jett confided in me tonight, the thing that resonated the most was when he told me what he was looking for.
Something real. Something solid. Something that lasts forever.
No matter how much I wish it was, I know this isn’t real. He’s kind, and he’s gentle, and I believe he wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt me. But I also believe that, for all he said about having no regrets, he’s probably still in love with Violet King, who is beautiful, and famous, and everything I’m not. He might not trust her… but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her, anyway. If anyone understands that, it’s me.
I’d have liked it if he’d made some kind of move on me tonight. I can’t deny it. But if this is the best I can hope for — lying here beside him in the dark, with our hearts beating in tandem, and the rain on the window lulling us both to sleep — then that’s going to have to be good enough.
And, let’s face it, “good enough” with Jett Carter is more than anything I’d ever hoped for, anyway.
So I swallow back my disappointment as I tighten my arm around his waist and snuggle closer into his neck.
We stay like that all night.
Chapter 34
“That was literally the best night’s sleep I’ve had in years,” Jett murmurs into my hair when I open my eyes the next morning. “You’re like some kind of sleep-inducing drug. Or maybe a teddy bear or something.”
Before I can figure out how to reply to that, there’s a loud buzzing sound from the bedside table, and I almost fall out of bed as Jett reaches over me to grab his phone.
“Yeah?” he says into it, slumping back against the pillows as I get up and pull on my dressing gown. “Oh, hey, Asher. What’s up? What time is it over there? You must be up in the middle of the night.”
I head to the bathroom to clean my teeth and give him some privacy, and when I come back into the room, he’s standing at the window, trying to pull a pair of joggers on with one hand, while holding his phone in the other.
“I know,” he says into the phone. “I know. I can’t believe it either. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Or maybe that’s today, your time?”
My heart drops like a stone. He’s leaving? Already? I hastily arrange my face into a neutral expression to try to hide the disappointment as he ends the call and turns to face me, his eyes shining.
“You are not going to believe this,” he says, striding across the room towards me. “It’s Duval — he wants to see me! He called Asher and asked him to set up a meeting. I’m leaving today. Well, as soon as Grace can arrange it, anyway.”
And then he picks me up by the waist, spins me around, and kisses me, full on the lips.
It’s so unexpected that, for once, I don’t have time to overthink my reactions. Instead, I just kiss him back, looping my arms around his neck as if I have every right to, and allowing myself to sink into this delicious, never-to-be repeated moment when Jett’s kissing me because hewantsto, not because there are cameras around.
I know this will never happen again — he’s just told me he’s going to be leaving today, after all — so I kiss him as if it’s both the first and the last time, and after a fraction of a second’s hesitation, when he might have pulled away, Jett kisses me right back. He’s still holding me by the waist, balancing me easily in his arms, and I wrap my legs around his body, pulling myself closer. I probably look ridiculous, but for once in my life I don’t actually care what I look like; if this is the last time I’m going to see him, I’m going to make sure this is the kind of kiss I remember for the rest of my life. And it is; it really is. It’s a movie-style kiss, except it’s even better than that because it’sreal. There’s absolutely no mistaking it — and even though I’m still wearing my ratty old dressing gown, and I’m sure my mouth must taste like the toothpaste I just used, it’s absolutely perfect.
Or, at least, it is until Mum steps in to ruin it.
“Whoops! Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt!”
Jett and I pull abruptly apart at the sound of her voice, and I slide sheepishly down from his embrace, turning around to see her leaning in the doorway, watching us with a look I can’t quite fathom on her face. Jealousy? Pride? Something else? Who knows?
“Mum,” I snap, pulling my dressing gown around myself. “What are you doing creeping around like that?”
“Oh, I wasn’t ‘creeping’, darling,” says Mum brightly. “I just came up to ask if you want me to make us all some breakfast. The door was open.”
I snort in disbelief. As if Mum, who’s been on a diet for as long as I’ve been alive, would know how to cook anything more adventurous than toast.
“We’ll be down in a second,” I tell her, not daring to look at Jett. “Or I will, anyway. Jett has to pack. He has to fly home today.”
“Um, we both have to pack,” Jett interjects from behind me. “You’re coming with me, aren’t you?”
