“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” I ask Emerald, who seems to be the only one who knows what’s going on here.
“Um, Brian and I got to know each other last year,” Emerald mumbles.
“When Emerald was trying to find out what happened to that bastard ex of hers, Ben,” Brian confirms, nodding.
“Lexie doesn’t want to hear about Ben,” Emerald says, blushing. “I wish you’d stop going on about him, Brian. That’s all in the past now. Anyway,” she goes on, smiling as Jack reaches over to take her hand, “After that, Brian decided to come to Heather Bay for a holiday—”
“Well, I’d heard so much about it I had to see the place for myself,” Brian interrupts. “And I liked it so much I just decided to stay. I’ve been here ever since. Emerald!” he snaps, exasperated. “The photo!”
Jett smiles dutifully as Emerald snaps away. Then Brian swoops down on me, and I do my best to stretch my mouth into a grin too. When the photos are done, McTavish produces another chair as if by magic, and Brian (from the bank, as he tells me again) squeezes himself in between me and Emerald, so she has to lean behind him to continue our conversation.
“I’m just saying,” she tells me, leaning on the back of Brian’s chair, “That you shouldn’t just assume everyone agrees with what’s been appearing in the paper. And, well, on Shona’s Instagram. I know you’re probably feeling like everyone’s against you right now, and I know what that feels like, trust me.”
She pauses to take a swig of her wine and exchange glances with Jack, who, although obviously enjoying his chat with Jett, keeps looking over at her to make sure she’s okay.
I wish I had someone who would do that for me.
“But people here don’t bear grudges,” Emerald goes on, smiling over at her boyfriend. “And you were always popular, Lexie. It’s not like everyone’s going to suddenly start hating you overnight, is it?”
I consider this as I fiddle with my napkin. It’s true that I was popular in high school — and after. But that’s only because no one really knew me. I learned really young how to make people like me by pretending to be the kind of person people liked. But that wasn’t really me, was it? It was no more real than the role I’m playing now, as Jett’s girlfriend, and I feel horribly guilty that Emerald — who, by rights, shouldn’t even betalkingto me right now — is being so nice to me when all I’ve ever been to her is fake.
“What about you, though?” I ask, suddenly shy. “Do you hate me, Emerald? Because I would, if I were you. I’d hate me for what I did to you at the Gala Day. Idohate me, actually. And I’m not going to ask you to forgive me for it, because I know it was unforgivable. But I do want you to know that I’m sorry.Reallysorry.”
I say the last part in a rush, with my eyes still firmly on the napkin. Saying it is easier than I’d thought it would be, though — and once it’s out there, I feel immeasurably lighter, as if the words have been weighing me down, and now I’m finally free of them.
“I don’t hate you,” Emerald says, after a short pause. “I mean, Ididfor a while, I’m not going to lie. I kept hoping a piano would fall out of a window and land on you. Or that the wind would blow really hard and mess up your hair.”
I can hear, rather than see, the smile in her voice, and when I finally bring myself to look at her, I’m relieved to see she’s joking. Or at least I think she is.
“Oh, come on, Lexie,” she says, grinning. “I’m the last person who can afford to hold a grudge around here. It’s not like I’ve never done anything I’ve regretted, is it?”
She exchanges another smile with Jack, who I can tell has been listening carefully to all of this, even though he still appears to be engrossed in Brian and McTavish’s attempt to convince Jett that the haggis is a real creature.
“But my mum. The distillery—”
“You’re not your mum, Lexie,” Emerald says firmly. “You really need to get that into your head. You’re not her, and her mistakes aren’t yours. You’re your own person.”
She sounds like a motivational Instagram quote. One with swirly letters, superimposed on a photo of a sunset or something. But she’s right. And by the time the night finally comes to an end and Jett and Jack start arguing over Jack’s refusal to let Jett pay the bill, I discover I’m feeling a lot better all of a sudden.
“It’s on the house,” Jack insists, shaking Jett warmly by the hand. “It’s been a pleasure.”
“Once Shona finds out ye were here, the place’ll be packed anyway,” McTavish says cheerfully. “She’ll put the word out.”
“Och, Shona’ll ken already,” says Brian, who already seems to know almost as much about Heather Bay as Shona herself. “Shona kens everything.”
We all nod solemnly at this (with the exception of Jett, who still has no idea what Brian and McTavish are saying most of the time).
“Well,” says Emerald, coming over to me. “It’s been—”
“Weird?” I finish for her, helpfully.
“A bit weird,” she agrees. “But also… nice? I hope?”
“It’s been lovely,” I tell her sincerely. “Thank you, Emerald. For… well, you know.”
For a second, I think she’s going to try to hug me. But, instead, she just nods.
“You’re welcome,” she says, taking Jack by the hand. “I’ll see you around, Lexie. Take care of yourself.”
