* * *
I spend the duration of Rebel Without a Cause waiting for Jett to give me some kind of hint that this is a real date, and not just a continuation of today’s fakery, but by the time the credits roll, and the bowl of popcorn balanced between us has been emptied, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was wrong.
Not only does he fail to try to hold my hand, or wrap his arm around me, there’s no sign that he’s even aware of me at all. Not even at the very end, when the tears start dripping off my nose unattractively.
I’m quite glad he didn’t look at me at that bit, actually.
“If I had one day when I didn’t have to be all confused and I didn’t have to feel that I was ashamed of everything. If I felt that I belonged someplace. You know?” mutters Jett, as he gets up to switch the lights back on.
“Yes! Idoknow! I feel like that too,” I reply, realizing almost as I say it that he’s quoting from the movie.
Jett chuckles lightly.
“I’m glad you liked it, Lady M,” he says, grinning delightedly at me. “It’s an important part of your movie education. If you like, I can show you some more sometime. I’ve got all the classics.”
I smile back at him, wondering if my body will ever feel normal again, or if I’m just going to have to walk around feeling this weird combination of confused and excited for the rest of my life. Because I feel like that’s going to be pretty inconvenient, somehow.
“So.”
Jett’s holding the door of the room open, but my legs aren’t obeying the brain’s command to move. I know it must be late by now. I don’t expect he’s going to ask me to stay, but—
“I, um, guess I better be going, then?”
I try my best not to phrase it like a question, but it comes out that way anyway, and I have a strong urge to kick myself.
“Sure,” Jett says pleasantly. “Just give me a second and I’ll get my driver to take you back to the hotel.”
He disappears into the hallway, and I sag with disappointment before quickly pulling myself together again.
Maybe it’s a good thing he’s sending me home, like we’re just two colleagues or something, who decided to catch a movie together after work. That’s all we are, after all. And that’s the way it’s going to stay. Anything else would be totally unthinkable. And dangerous. And a guaranteed way to stop me in my quest to become a better person who doesn’t make stupid mistakes. I know that. I know it perfectly well. So when Jett comes back to tell me the car’s outside, he finds me waiting patiently by the front door, my bag over my shoulder, and my smile firmly in place.
“Thanks for the movie,” I say, as if I’m always coming round to Hollywood mansions to hang with the stars. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” he says in return, holding the door for me courteously. If there’s a hint of disappointment on his face, then I’m sure I must be imagining it. And if there’s the slightest twinge of regret in my heart on the drive back, well, I’ll just completely ignore it, I decide.
So that’s exactly what I do.
Chapter 17
“Okay. Pap walk. On the beach. This afternoon.”
We’re back in Jett’s living room the next morning, and Asher seems to be speaking a different language.
“Pap walk?” I ask, glancing at Jett with ahelp melook. “What’s that, exactly?”
“Oh, it’s literally just a walk,” says Asher, who’s looking pleased with himself after the success of yesterday’s “date”, which was covered extensively on the Internet, with photos of me and Jett standing looking out at the sunset from Griffith Observatory, our heads almost touching as enjoy what TMZ describe as “a romantic tête-à-tête”.
(There were also a few of Jett looking like he’s about t throw up on the Ferris wheel, but we’re not going to talk about those until Grace manages to get them taken down, apparently.”
“You and Jett go for a walk on the beach,” Asher continues, “and we make sure there’s someone there to photograph you. It’s so simple even you’ll be able to do it.”
I’m about to say something cheeky in response to this. Then I remember my performance at The Crab Shack, and decide to zip it.
“What do you think, Jett?” says Asher, turning to his client, who’s been suspiciously silent during all of this. “Can we do this today? Can you clear your schedule? I think it would be a good idea to capitalize on the coverage we got yesterday. You and Ms. Steele are the couple of the moment right now. Everyone wants to see more of you both. So let’s give the people what they want. Whaddya say?”
Jett shrugs, like a man who would rather be locked in a box with midges, but who knows he has very little say in the matter.
“Malibu,” he says, by way of response. “We can do it at the Malibu house.”
