No, not almost. I could feel it, no matter how far we were I could feel it.
This would have been the first time in my life that I’d done this, and realistically this was the very thing that I’d thought of doing weeks ago. Escaping.
I’d wanted to escape his controlling hand.
My sketchy plan had been to take small amounts of cash every other day in a week from my account so he wouldn’t notice. Then I’d make a move and run off. Pa was clever though. He stopped me right in my damn tracks with that plan. It was at that point too, that I realized just how bad things were. That something else, or rather something more than usual was going on.
That something led me here.
Here as in right now, as I wondered if it was fair to allow not just Xander but Frankie to be part of this fiasco. The crux of the matter was we were now running from my father. Because of me.
If Pa found us he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Xander and Frankie.
Death.
It would always come back to that, somewhere in the mix it would come back to that.
Death and dying. Was it fair to be selfish with the man I loved when realistically this probably would never be over?
That was why I was jealous of Claire. She didn’t come from a bad seed. She didn’t come from bad. Everything here was goodness. Everything in pureness.
Xander shuffled in the bed. I turned to look at him and smiled when his hands reached over to the space where I’d laid beside him.
“Baby…” He breathed and shuffled to sit up.
He looked straight at me. The moonlight lit him up and just like the other night, he looked perfect.
He slipped off the bed showing off that body of his. In his Calvin Klein’s, that walking advert came to my mind again.
“Jia what are you doing? You should…” His voice trailed off when he saw my drawing. He looked at me and smiled, then pulled up the other chair to sit in front of me.
I handed him the sketch pad when he reached for it.
“Jia, this is amazing. I’m always blown away by your talent.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it because it’s yours.”
He raised his brows and smiled wide.
An unexpected smile. I forgot and now thought I had to give more credit to his smile where it was due… he smiled like that when he was with me.
Yes… that was more accurate. He smiled showing me his soul when he was with me.
“My damn, Jia you never cease to amaze me. I love it.”
“It’s not quite finished yet.”
“What more could you do to it?” He looked intrigued to know.
“It’s just little finishing touches. Like here.” I pointed at the drawing and hovered over the right side of his face there. “You have a dimple. It comes out when you’re smiling like that. Just that one though. The left comes out when you smile wider then it reaches your eyes.”
Now he looked fascinated. “You memorized all that about me?”
“I did. So I want it to look perfect.”Just in case…
It was a dark afterthought. Just in case something happened and this was all he had to remember me by, or just in case the worst happened to all of us.
He set the sketchpad down and took my hands into his.
