“You didn’t believe it?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t believe it.Claire… she was a different story. I knew in my heart from the minute that girl decided she wanted to follow in her old man’s shoes that I was going to get that call one day. The call telling me something had happened to her. I knew it. I did. Just like me, she did plenty of things that were reckless. Unlike me though, she didn’t have that stroke of luck. For me I got lucky one last time and I threw in the towel. I saw it for what it was and took hold of the chance it gave me. I suspect Claire wouldn’t have done that. She would have kept on going until it killed her. She got that part from her mother.” He nodded.
His words tugged heavily on my heart. They were true.
I felt they were true and that part wasn’t me looking for an excuse so I wouldn’t blame myself.
Claire was a mixture of her fearless father, and her daunting mother who knew giving birth to her child could kill her but she did it anyway. That was how her mother died. In childbirth.
Just like mine. My mother died during child birth too and we always talked about that element of similarity we had. I knew for damn certain that I got my guts and courage from my mother.
I’d always considered that when I was with Claire. I imagined her mother making it her mission to give birth to her baby and sacrifice herself if she needed to. Her life a price to pay for what she wanted most.
That was what Claire was like and she would have indeed kept going until something stopped her. There were many times we got lucky, she just kept going though.
“I told you I’d take care of her.” My gaze dropped to the table and I sighed. When I looked back to him there was nothing but understanding in his eyes.
“And that was nice of you, but there would have only been so much of that you could do. She was her own person. Strong-willed and strong minded. So much more than me. But, I felt it in my bones that something would happen. It was almost a damn given and I prepared for it for years. I was told it was a bomb that took out the team in Nepal. They brought me her tags and yours.”
He paused and silence filled the space between us, opening the floor for me to speak.
As the conversation had taken the direction of the past first, I thought that was where I needed to start. I’d start at the past and work my way forward.
“It wasn’t just a bomb. That came after.” That was the best way I could start. Everything I would tell him next was top secret. This man however, was a man I had no secrets from. He was ex- military, ex-CIA, ex-SMF. We knew when to talk and when not to. He knew when I could and should talk and right now I owed no allegiance to anyone.
I drew in a breath and continued my recount. “We’d been tracking a man called Balthazar Kane for years. Approximately three. The situation with him had gotten so bad, we were ring fenced to deal with everything to do with him.Everything.”
I told him everything from the past and finished with Claire’s death and what should have been mine too.
That was the end of that saga.
He gazed down at the table as he processed the information. It was a lot. Fucking a lot to tell and a lot to take on board.
“I’ve spent the last five years trying to find Balthazar,” I added. “Never getting close. I went off on my own mission trying to find the son of a bitch and never once got near enough until days ago.”
Jack lifted his head. “Days, son?”
“Yeah that brings me to the next part of the story. Weeks ago I was commissioned by Ethan to do a job. He found me. The man found me. Following the success of the mission the promise was to assist me to find Balthazar Kane. It was the only reason I agreed to it. The job was to steal back some blueprints from a mob boss. The blueprints were for a super nuke. I never realized the job would include a web of several layers of traps and players like you wouldn’t believe.”
By the time I finished telling him everything Jack was completely blown away. I could see the intrigue in his eyes and the expression on his face. Hearing the details of the past was a lot to take in, but the more recent stuff was like I was talking about some Hollywood Michael Bay film, minus the blowing up of buildings. That was what it felt like, living in a film like that.
“Fucking hell, Xander. What the actual hell?” He shook his head. “All of that? And Balthazar Kane in the mix?”
“Yes. So I’m here. It sent me here to you. I didn’t want to involve you. I never did before because you’re my family. You are, and I wanted to keep you out of it. I stayed dead because I thought it would give me some advantage to find Balthazar. He thought he killed me so I became the shadow and hoped it would end somewhere. Then this all happened.”
“You are very lucky Xander. Very lucky.”
“I owe my luck to Frankie. He didn’t have to help me.”
“No he didn’t.”
“I know he’s got to be worried about his family.” I would be if I were him. He’d said Giovanni wouldn’t come for his family but I wouldn’t put it past him to try. It was natural for me to factor that in.
“Of course. And um… the girl?”
My breath stilled. I’ll admit I avoided talking too much about Jia. I shouldn’t though. I was serious about her and I meant what I said when I asked her to be mine.
I wanted her to be mine in every essence of the word. I wanted her to be mine and when that day came I was done doing all of this.
