But, damn Armand was here.
He’d been here since last night and hadn’t left. Pa called in all the muscle like Xander instructed. He actually did it and there were men outside. All armed and ready to kill anything that moved. It was as if I had the whole Italian mafia on my doorstep. Needless to say that I had to give some explanation of the presence of so men to Anya. I’d just told her something was going on and Pa called in extra protection.
A least it was a version of the truth that explained them and thank God they all stayed outside.
Armand though had come in and decided to start his husbandly duties.
Anya and I had been up in my room and I was pretty certain I’d heard the shuffle of feet every now and again outside the door. The asshole was listening in.
I was sure of it.
I sat next to Anya and sighed, hugging my knees to my chest too.
I was dressed and ready to go. All I needed to do was take my bags. That was it, then who knew when I’d see this place again.
“It feels weird. There’s so much going on. So much I have no control over,” I breathed.
And so much I couldn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her about Balthazar. I kept that to myself, the same as I kept most of the weekend activities with Xander to myself. I didn’t tell her how Armand tried to rape me, how Xander saved me, or how he told me he loved me.
None of it.
I figured it was best for me to shelve it to the back of my mind.
I had to forget Armand’s treatment of me, just to be able to look at him, and I had to forget that I was about to start a life with a man I didn’t love.
I had to forget everything and just go with the flow of what was happening.
“Jia, you’re one of the strongest women I know, you can do this. Everything is shit. I can sense it. I can see it and see how miserable you are, but you’re trying to mask it. You will get through this.” Anya nodded.
I appreciated her words of strength. I just didn’t feel very strong. I wished I knew where Xander was. I wished I knew what he’d done after. Nothing seemed to happen but that didn’t mean nothing had happened.
Did he get the blueprints?
If he did, where did he go?
I hoped he got them. I really did, it would be his mission accomplished. I just wouldn’t know what would happen next. Pa would no longer have them, so what did that mean in the grand scheme of things?
Pa was no longer my concern.
That was what I’d decided last night. It was as I’d said at the start of the week. He’d spread his bed so he could lie in it. What was I really supposed to do?
Worry about him for the rest of my life?
No.
I couldn’t do it. It would get to me to no end if something did happen to him but it felt a little inevitable. Only a matter of time and realistically he would get his end and deserve it.
Pa was evil. I knew he loved me. I knew that he said it a lot, did a lot to show it in his weird way. Selfishness and greed had however become him.
I had no place or room in my heart for that.
“I was hoping we could have lunch,” I told her. “I wanted us to pig out or something.”
“Me too, but will Armand let you go? Honestly Jia, I’m happy to stay here.” We’d had some candy and fruit. There was a bar of hazelnut chocolate on the bed that we’d brought up from the pantry to share but I wasn’t really in the mood any more.
She didn’t seem to be either.
It was habit for us to have junk food and overdose on candy when we got together. We’d done it since we were little and I was going to really miss these sessions with her.
