I frowned and narrowed my eyes at him. Sometimes Luc drove me crazy because he was always right.
I was older by two years and should have been wiser, but it was always him.
He always knew what to do, and damn it, he wasn’t possibly the only person I could talk to. He was the only one who could reach me when I was like this.
I didn’t answer straight away. I just sat back in my chair.
“Last week was Marissa’s anniversary, but that’s not what’s up your ass.” Luc drummed his fingers on the solid wood of the table.
My gaze fell to the dark brown hue, then I returned my focus to Luc’s bright blue gaze.
“I fucked up big time.”
“Who’d you kill?” He looked worried, like really worried, and he was serious.
“Jesus, no one yet.”
“Good… I mean…” He got that faraway look in his eyes. The kind that he’d gotten since he’d been married to Amelia. Luc wasn’t part of the business anymore and what he deemed our way of life.
He knew things were still clean, but if I was honest, I knew one day things could flip.
“I know what you mean.”
“You’re the boss, and it looks like things are going well. I won’t tell you what to do. I have no right, but know that I have your back. No matter what.” He nodded.
“Means a lot.”
“You know I do, Claudius. So, how exactly did you fuck up this time?”
“Ava.” As soon as her name left my lips, I recalled the image of her from last night. I deserved the slap. What got me, though, was how she’d looked. The disappointment in her eyes, the hurt. The hurt I’d caused.
Luc’s expression softened. “Did you see her?”
“I saw her.”
Luc bit the inside of his lips. “Did you… you guys have a repeat of four years ago?” A tentative expression washed over his face. Tentative and careful.
“No.” He’d dragged that out of me too. Although I think I didn’t need much to crack me on that one. I’d actually told him what happened, but Dante and Gio guessed it.
Four years ago, as I watched Ava from the shadows, I watched her break down and do the strangest thing. It was like she could sense me, sense my presence. I’d been hiding behind a mausoleum. It was closer to Marissa’s grave. She just spoke out loud and said, “How can you just stand there and watch me in pain? Claudius, you bastard.”
That’s what she said. She couldn’t see me, but she knew I was there.
I didn’t come out to her. I just watched, watched her break down, then it took me another hour before I lost my mind. I must have lost my fucking mind because I wasn’t thinking with my brain anymore.
I went to her house, and seeing her sent me over the edge. We slept together, and then I did something I never thought I’d do. I left her.
I left before morning. Before she woke. To her it must have looked like I didn’t care, like I was just using her.
But that was so far from the truth.
It was so very far from the truth, and my actions had made everything else so much worse than it had already been.
“Hey.” Luc tapped on the desk. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
I pulled in a breath and on release, I managed to start talking and filled him in on what was going on.
“Claudius, are we going to have this same crazy conversation again in ten years?”
