I would have taken more care in my conversation if I’d known she was going to be here.
“Raphael, what are you doing?” Her voice shook as she spoke, and more tears ran down her cheeks. “Did I hear you right?”
Damn it, I was such an idiot. I’d allowed my feelings to cloud my actions, and I didn’t think. I should have made that call back at the office. Not here.
It was so ironic. I’d kept my wife and daughter out of business, kept everything at the office in town. I’d kept things tight and on a leash, never discussing anything in the house, yet she’d just heard me plotting perhaps the biggest and worst ambush I’d ever concocted.
“What did you hear?” I demanded.
“Tag. You just ordered Agent Peterson to kill him if he had to. He’s your friend. Why would you do that?”
That was it. I lost my composure. “I saw you with him.”
I was never a beat-around-the-bush kind of guy. Never. And I wouldn’t start being one now.
Eloise sucked in a sharp breath, and her skin turned pale.
“W-what?”
“I. Saw. You. With. Him!” I screamed.
“Raphael, please, I can explain.” She rushed up to me.
When she tried to touch me, I moved my hand away.
“Why? Why would you do that? And what kind of explanation do you think you can give me? You slept with him. I watched him with you.”
“You watched?” she gasped looking mortified.
“That’s what you’re concerned about? Well, yes, Eloise, a person tends to do crazy shit when they’re in shock. That was one of them. Though it was more the case of me watching in complete horror and disbelief because I didn’t want it to be true. I couldn’t believe it. You and him. Don’t worry. I left before he finished fucking you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Raphael, things haven’t been… I should have come to you and told you I wanted a…”
Wow, please, don’t tell me she was going to say what I was thinking.
She swallowed hard and wiped her face. “I want a divorce.”
“Done. Fucking done.” Of course, I was done. Didn’t matter that I loved her with everything in me. Didn’t matter that this was killing me. I was done.
If she didn’t love me. I couldn’t do anything about that.
“Raphael, things have been bad with us for a long time.”
I wished she hadn’t said that. “Yes, that’s the perfect excuse to go fucking my best friend, right? I understand perfectly. That’s the natural thing to do, of course.”
“It’s not. It was wrong of me, and I made a mistake.”
“I would never do that to you.” I had plenty women who would have been eager to be with me because of who I was and what I was. I owned Chicago, I had unimaginable wealth, and I think I could be bold enough to say that I owned people too. There were so many chances for me to cheat, but I would never. I didn’t believe in it, and I was too in love with my wife to even contemplate hurting her like that.
“I know. I know you wouldn’t, and that’s what makes me feel even worse. Raphael, every time I tried to talk to you, you’d come up with some excuse or take us someplace that would make it inconvenient to tell you how I felt.”
I couldn’t deny that I’d been stepping around a fear I didn’t want to acknowledge. I’d felt at one point that she wanted to leave me. I’d felt it, and it terrified me. It terrified me so much I didn’t even want to acknowledge the fear. So, I’d pushed it aside.
“How do you feel? Tell me, Eloise. I have given you everything. I have protected you from the darkness in my world. I have given you my heart and soul and loved you.”
Her lips trembled, and she shook her head slowly. Her face contorted as she winced and pulled in a sharp breath. “I don’t love you anymore.”
I just stared at her. I stared at her for what felt like an eternity, and I was sure that my heart must have stopped beating.
