My skin tightened and burned, and it was difficult to swallow.
Suddenly it was all too much and I had the compulsion to flee, to be somewhere else. Somewhere that wasn’t here.
“I’m going for a walk.”
“Yeah, right, you’re not.”
More orders.
“I need air and space. I need to clear my head.” I couldn’t focus or concentrate in here. It really was too much and I was on the verge of tears. I hated crying and I would rather do it in private if tears were going to take me. It was this whole sense of helplessness. Being powerless in this situation and having to do as I was told.
“You need to stay inside the house and open a window if you need fresh air. Like fuck are you going wondering around for a damn walk.”
“I just want to go outside,” I argued.
“Amelia.” He held a finger up at me and walked closer. His hair swished about his shoulders as he leaned in and got real close in my personal space.
He looked so much like Luc. I wished he didn’t because I wanted Luc to be here right now, and he wasn’t.
“What?”
“Stop acting like a fucking brat and get with the program. We’re here guarding the house, and the reason why we are here is because we’re the best at what we do. Right now, my brother is on the streets looking for these motherfuckers who want you dead, and I don’t have his back. I always have his back. So no, you will not go for a walk or whatever the fuck it is you want to do. Capisce?”
First, I felt numb from the way he spoke to me. Then I felt awful about what he’d said. I was acting like a brat. It was because I was completely off my game and out of my element here.
“I got it.” My shoulders slumped and I swallowed hard past the lump that had formed in my throat.
He backed away and held up a hand to his cheek where he’d had the cross tattooed.
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t keep the quiver out of my voice. I failed at staving off the tremble in my shoulders too.
He stopped by the counter and looked at me. “What for?”
“This. I should be out there looking for them myself.” I would go if they let me.
“That’s not the way this works.” His voice sounded strained. “I know Miss Badass Cop Amelia Rossi could go out there on a hunt too, but this is out of your league. You’re a cop. They do things differently. Also, just because you’re a cop doesn’t mean you suddenly got what it takes to bring down fucking psychos.”
He was right. I knew that, but it didn’t make me feel any better. “It’s just hard to stand by and wait while the man I love is out there and something could happen to him.”
Against my will, a tear ran down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and tried to shake off that heaviness that washed over my whole body. My heart shrinked away, backing into that cave of despair as worry tugged at my soul.
Luc… what is something happened to him? What would I do?
“Don’t you dare cry. I don’t know what the hell to do with a crying woman, and you don’t look like the crying-type princess. I was assured there would be no tears.”
I smirked and tried to hold the tears back, but they came.
“Fuck.” He winced and reached for me, pulling me in for a hug. “I have squirrel hands.”
“I actually don’t care.” I rested my head on his chest and allowed the tears to fall. The thing was, I wasn’t the crying type of woman, and this wasn’t me. He pulled back and took my hand, then led me out to the corridor. “Where are we going?”
“For a walk.” He glanced down at me and smiled.
We walked outside, and he released my hand once we got on the path that led to the moors. I used to play out there as a child.
I wanted to walk around the gardens again and enjoy the flowers.
We got close to the entrance, but just as I was about to continue, he pulled me back.
