To my surprise, she reached over and took hold of my hand. “I want that for you too, when you get your new job and have time for a guy. You’re an amazing person who has changed my world in so many ways, so I want you to have everything amazing.”
I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, unable to restrain the look of awe I now gave her. Ryan was certainly raising a beautiful girl, inside and out.
“Thank you. Now finish your chocolate—we have to get home in time to get enough beauty sleep.”
She nodded, agreeing completely.
I drank mine and got lost in my thoughts again. This time I wasn’t thinking about Ryan per se.
Talking about relationships just got me thinking. I wondered what my life would have been like if Craig and I had simply just broken up. I thought that maybe I would have been okay. Sure I would have moved on like I did, but perhaps I wouldn’t have been so bitter.
What got me the most was the striking similarities my relationship had to my parents.
I literally watched love destroy my father. Craig broke my trust. Mom broke Dad’s trust. Craig cheated, Mom cheated. Criag probably never loved me and I knew without a shadow of doubt that Mom never loved Dad. She couldn’t have if she treated him like that.
There was a time in my life when I was determined to not allow my parents lives to influnec my own, but the one time I took a risk and a chance on love disaster struck.
Disaster struck and opened up old wounds, highlighting the deep loss I’d experienced growing up. For some reason it became one and the same in my head.
The crux of the matter was I was afraid of love. Afriad to put myself in that vulnerable state again with the risk that things could be as disasterous as before.
It was hard for me to fall in love and open my heart, open it to the possibility of hurt like that, me, the girl whose mother left her because she decided she didn’t want to be my mother anymore.
Me, the girl whose father was killed and taken away just like that.
Me, the girl who’d watched her father love her mother with everything he had and it still wasn’t enough
Me, the girl who took a risk on love after she experienced all of that and was made to feel like I was inadequate.
I couldn’t let that happen to me again. It wasn’t worth it.
The thought left a bad taste in my mouth for the whole journey back, but when
I saw Ryan, all worries and everything left my mind, swept clean by the gorgeous man who’d fixed my pipes and came to see me after I dropped Aria off.
He was the only guy I knew who could make a simple black long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of slacks look as good as if he were wearing a suit.
He came in when I opened the door and leaned against the wall in the archway.
“Thanks for fixing the pipes.” I couldn’t help the little smile that escaped and made its way over my lips then washed over my entire body.
He was just so damn gorgeous, and he was here in my house.
When he reached up and brushed the edge of my chin with his thumb, tingles danced over my skin and sparked across my heart.
“Shhh. The pipes aren’t fixed, remember? It’s going to take a long time to get it all worked out in that special way only I know.” He winked at me.
“Yes, of course. My bad.” I laughed. Excitement bubbled within me at the thought of what was to come that night. I would have loved nothing more than a replay of the previous night.
I didn’t care if I never slept again.
“Brooke, I owe you a fortune for the stuff you got Aria.” His expression took on a serious note.
“No, you do not.” I’d kind of expected this conversation.
“Even I know who Vera Wang is. How much did you pay for the dress?”
“Ryan, if you’d seen how beautiful Aria looked in it, you’d have sold your house to get it for her.”
