Sally said it was better to have loved and lost than to not love at all. I’d head that so many times, read it so many times. But I didn’t agree. Not for me.
The truth was I had a deep fear of loss, of giving my already fragile heart to that one special person and losing them in whatever way life chose to take them from me.
It frightened me.
The flames of panic and fear licked violently at my insides and scorched me clean.
This was supposed to be no strings attached, then things changed and we became something else.
Something else I couldn’t handle.
Ryan was the exception.
I allowed myself to fall for him and that by itself made me vulnerable to all the uncontrollable things that came with it. Things might be good now but what would I do when it changed?
What would I do if it all blew up in my face?
That thought, that horrible thought made me slide off the bed, out of my man’s arms and away from his heart.
Then it made me leave.
I worked so hard for everything I’d ever accomplished. This was the first time I’d ever felt like a failure.
