Chapter 25
Ryan
* * *
Ihated this day even more this year than I had the last.
November 15th: the anniversary of Olivia’s death.
Every year Aria and I would head out to the private lot by the lake Olivia loved, and we’d spend the day telling her all that had happened to us.
We usually visited every month with flowers, though this year had been more like every other month. When she’d first died, I’d come here every day. This year, it wasn’t that either of us had forgotten her; for me it was just more about the moving on.
That was the thing I always struggled with because I couldn’t do it, and no one had ever made me want to—until now.
The day had the misfortune of being a Friday, the day I hated the most, and when I checked, I saw Brooke would be leaving on a Friday too, in two weeks.
I’d thought summer had gone by in a blink, but that was nothing.
The time for the end of Brooke’s stay had come even quicker. She’d come bumbling down that hill on that horrid Friday, and she’d be leaving on a Friday too.
It wasn’t what I wanted to be thinking about right now as Aria and I sat on the little bench in front of Olivia’s grave. The roses I’d planted looked amazing. She would have loved them. When we’d first moved into the house, she’d wanted roses. It was a must, so I’d covered her grave in mini pink roses.
“It’s always hard to come here on this day.” Aria broke the silence that filled the space between us. “Why is that? How come we can come here almost every month but today is always worst?” She looked to me, and I saw her as the eleven-year-old who’d just lost her mother.
The sadness was still there. It never left, not even with time.
“It’s a reminder that she’s not with us anymore. The other visits feel like a build-up to this.”
She nodded, agreeing. “You haven’t said anything to her yet.”
I hadn’t spoken, but neither had she. We’d been here for over an hour, just sitting here, looking.
I shook my head.
She took my hand and laced her fingers with mine. “I have something to tell you both.”
I tilted my head to the side as she smiled. “What is it?”
“I’m going to college next year, and I’m going to be a teacher. I want to teach classical literature at university. I whipped myself into shape so I may have a shot at Yale, but Brown seems to have a better program for me. I reached out to the admissions director and asked what sort of grades they look for, and when I told her all I’d done this summer, she said they’d be happy to have me if I can get the SAT scores I need, which I know I can.”
Stunned didn’t begin to describe how I felt. “God, wow. Aria…”
“Yeah, I know—I shocked me too.” She giggled.
“I’m proud of you. Your mom would be so proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
“So Brown’s is kind of far…what about Brad?” I felt I should ask.
“He wants to go to North Carolina. Brooke told me something a few months back that stood out in my mind. She said if he loves me he’ll understand what’s important to me. He seems to now, which is great. If that changes then I guess that’s something we’ll just both have to accept, but I want this.”
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “My girl, you are the very best.”
“You too, Dad. How about I leave you to talk—you seem to have a lot on your mind. Maybe it will be easier if I’m not here. I’ll go walk by the river.”
She gave me a curt nod and smiled before she left.
