“My ex got married. We share the same circle of friends so I’m always hearing about him when I really don’t want to.”
“Oh, God. I’m sorry.”
I laughed again. “Don’t be.”
“Did you love him?”
“No. Well… yes. Yes I did at one point, until I found out he cheated on me big time.”
Now Ryan looked angry. “What? And you guys still have the same circle of friends?”
I shuffled and nodded. “We were all friends in college.”
“Is Noah one of his friends?”
“No, he’s not. He wanted to kill him when he found out what happened, and honestly he never liked him anyway.”
“I want to kill him and I don’t even know him.” He gave me a pensive look, then something I couldn’t quite put my finger on flickered in his eyes. “Are you upset that he got married to someone else?”
I chuckled. I guess it would appear that way to the casual observer. “No, not at all. It wasn’t that, that upset me. I think I was more upset about the fact that um…” my voice trailed off.
I’d set myself up for this trap. Me with my games.
“What?” He reached out and touched my face. “What part upset you?”
“He made me feel like I was the kind of woman you cheat on.” That was the problem on the surface. I didn’t really feel like going in deep like I had with Sally earlier. I couldn’t with him.
“You aren’t.”
“I felt like that though. I felt like I was the kind of woman you aren’t serious about. The kind you don’t want to have a life with. He made me feel that way. I’m over it. Way over it.” That felt like a lie. I was absolutely over Craig,way over Craig,but not the damage he did to my mind. “It was just awful. So, that’s the thing, orthings,no one else knows. I’m pretty certain if I spoke to any of my friends they’d tell me it wasn’t his intention to make me feel that way.” They sure would.
Janine would be the first to point that out and Shauna would agree. Then I’d look like the woman who was jealous of her ex, and I wasn’t.
They wanted to remain neutral in the matter and never commented on Craig in any negative way. I was certain that they probably spoke to each other about him, but they never expressed their opions on the break up to me. Truthfully, I hated it and I hated that they stayed friends with him, although I knew it would make their lives awkward if it was any other way because of their connections to him.
Ryan narrowed his eyes.
“No man who claims to love you would ever make you feel that way, even if you aren’t with him anymore.”
“You’re sweet, and I’m pretty certain you’re just saying that.” I laughed it off, trying not to show how much his words touched my heart.
“Brooke I don’t say anything I don’t mean.” His lips arched and he gave me that gorgeous smile I found so irresistible. “It’s true, and what I said is true too. Clearly he never knew you. He couldn’t have.”
“He knew me alright.” The asshole just never had any respect for me. “He knew well enough to have an ounce of common sense and know it was wrong to cheat.” Everyone knew that.
He shook his head. “I agree, but that’s not what I mean. I mean he didn’tknowyou. The real you. What’s inside you, in your heart and your soul. It’s what make’s you, you, and unique. If he knew you he would love you.”
He held my gaze and I swore it was like he took hold of my heart too. Right there and then, it felt like he reached inside me and took my heart. I could no longer keep it out of his reach.
His smile widened.
“You’re like that poem about summer.”
“Poetry.” I smiled against the inner swirl of emotion that rushed through me. “You’re not a big poetry fan.” I’d tried to share my love for poems and books with him. He looked interested for me, but I knew it wasn’t his thing.
“It’s new, but that summer poem you showed me reminded me of you. The Shakesphere one.”
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?I adored that poem.
