After we say goodbye to Mateo and his mom, we walk through his neighborhood, and he introduces me to the other neighbors we run into. They all know him and greet him like family, though no one seems surprised to see him. I wonder how often he comes back here.
When we’re finally alone, he pries his hand from mine and drapes his arm over my shoulder so I’m tucked up close against his body.
“Was that okay?” he asks.
“It was great. Your neighbors are so sweet.”
“I mean the other thing.” He searches my eyes. “We never talked about that.”
“The girlfriend thing? It was better than okay.” Suddenly I feel a little shy. “Now that you’ve said it to your friends, will you say it to me?” I stop walking and turn to him.
Reeve smiles and rakes his hand through his hair. “I swear to god, Jade Kelly, you’re the only girl on earth who can make me nervous.” His smile wavers. “I’ve wanted to say those words for a long time. I know we said no relationships, but even if you refused to be my girlfriend, you’d still be my girl, you know that? Because you’re all I think about, and there’s no room for anyone else. You’re everything I swore I never wanted, but that was only because I was afraid of having something I was scared to lose.” He exhales. “I guess that’s my long-winded way of saying you make me happy.”
Joy, pure and warm, floods my chest. I reach for his hand, which is fidgeting at his side, his fingers nervously flexing. “Happy? Like winning-the-biggest-stuffed-animal-at-the-carnival happy?”
“More like throwing the pass that wins the national championship. And winning the lottery. And having sex with the most beautiful girl on earth.” He reaches for my hand.
I laugh softly, but my throat feels thick with emotion. I lace my fingers through his and squeeze. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
“You don’t have to say it better. Just say it.”
“Say what?”
“How you feel. Have you ever noticed I turn into a walking rain cloud of feelings around you? Meanwhile, you’re the Sahara. So tell me something.”
I open my mouth, struggling to find the words that could possibly match the feeling inside me. “I feel the same way you do. Happy.”
His eyes are trained on my face. “That’s all I get?”
“Well, it’s probably the same happiness you feel, but since I’ve never thrown a pass or won the lottery or had sex with a girl?—”
“Jade,” he says solemnly.
I swallow as sweat beads at my lower back. For the first time, I admit it to myself: I love him. I’ve known it since that night at Lorenzo’s lake house, but I didn’t let myself believe it. So what I want to say to Reeve is,Fuck it all,that I’m ready to give up Spain and everything else in my life for him, and I want nothing in return except his love, but that’s next level compared to him calling me his girlfriend. Still, the worry in his eyes assures me the only thing worse than embarrassing myself by opening up would be hurting him by not.
I squeeze his hand again, hoping to absorb some of his strength. The words are all there in my head, but they feel impossible to say out loud. Why is it so hard to say I love you when, for the first time, I know it’s true? “I feel like I don’t deserve you,” I finally say. “I never even hoped for something this good because I never imagined I could get it. You just—you make things possible.” I look out at the car driving down the street, willing myself to not ask him whether he’d give up just as much for me. “You make me question whether the future I planned is really the one I want.”
All the worry leaves his eyes, and he places a kiss on my forehead. “You’re wrong, Jade, you do deserve me. We deserve each other.”
And for now those words are enough.
“So what arethe odds I get to see your childhood home one of these days?” Reeve asks when we’re back in the car.
“You mean Norman Rockwell world? Pretty slim, unless you plan to visit without me.”
“You don’t like going home? Bad memories?”
“Yes and no. I have good memories of being a kid, but that was when I was too little to see what was really happening.”
“What was happening?”
“My mom being miserable in her marriage because she couldn’t accept he wasn’t in love with her anymore. It was not a nice wake-up call.”
“Are they still like that?”
I nod. “They’ll never change. The saddest part is that she’s sacrificed her happiness for so many years, yet she still has hope. My mom’s brilliant but, god, she’s such a fool.”
“You’re mad at her.”
