THIRTY-THREE
jade
“Gradesfor the unit twelve test are now posted,” announces Sra. Corea as Spanish class wraps up on Friday. By this time of day, she’s always given up on communicating entirely in Spanish; we’re a disappointing group. “Check if you haven’t already. Guys, this should have beenfácil. If you received less than a B, email me, because you should be in the study group. Come on now.”
My stomach tightens. Did Sra. Corea just throw a frustrated look at me, or was that directed at the kid behind me with the abominable Spanish accent? For a little while there, Reeve’s tutoring had me pulling nothing but A’s in class and Sra. Corea’s smile shone down on me every class like sunshine, but lately she doesn’t look my way. Reeve’s been too busy for much tutoring, and my enthusiasm for the language—not to mention sunny Spain itself—is at an all-time low.
I pack up quickly and head outside to pull up my test grade: 84 percent. A disappointment compared to the near-perfect scores I was bringing in for a few weeks, but at least it’s enough to keep me out of Sra. Corea’s optional-unless-your-grades-suck study group. Still, a study group is a no-brainer if I need to learn this language.
I rub my temples, trying to ward off an approaching headache. I’ll think about it later. An email pops up on my screen—another message from my adviser, Mark, asking about my progress on my applications.This one I’ll actually answer,I promise myself. Tonight. Or maybe tomorrow when I’ve managed to get through an application or two.
I head for the student union to grab lunch with Madison, keeping an eye out for Reeve. Back when he was just the asshole who made Lenni cry, I used to see him all the time, strutting around campus like he had his own personal spotlight. Now I hardly ever see him anymore.
He’s spending more time than ever at the football facility, exercising, watching film, meeting with coaches. And even if it leaves us with less time, he makes up for it with his intensity when we are together—and not just with the things he does to my body. He’s stopped holding back from me when football gets deep in his head and stopped apologizing when it’s all he can think about. I love that he feels safe talking to me. I want to be the one he turns to. I want to be there for his ups and downs every night when he comes home, not halfway across the world. I know I’m stretching the limits of reality even thinking that way, but what if it’s possible?
Inside the student union, I spot Madison setting her bag at a small dining table, Lenni with her.
“Jade!” someone says behind me, and immediately my stomach knots up. I know that voice. And I really don’t want to turn around. Maybe if I don’t respond, he’ll mistake me for some other pierced, pink-haired coed. “Hey! Jade!” Mark says again, catching up to me.
I feign surprise. “Oh, Mark! Hey, how’ve you been?”
“Fine,” he says flatly, clutching a giant salad ina to-go container. “A little impatient, actually. I don’t need to tell you I’ve been emailing you for two weeks now.”
“No, I know, I was going to get back to you tonight, actually.”
“Well, what a coincidence.”
“I’ll have some applications to show you by tomorrow. It’s just been a busy couple of weeks.”
“There are deadlines, Jade. We’ve already discussed them. I saw you put them on your calendar right in my office.”
“Oh, I’ll meet the deadlines. Don’t worry.”
Careful not to touch me, Mark steers me out of the path of a few dozen hungry students. I glance over at my friends, who are watching us and looking sympathetic. “What’s going on? Until now, you were the one leading the charge, and I was just trying to keep up. If you’re worried about not getting in, you’re only hurting yourself by procrastinating.”
“Um ... I’m having second thoughts.”
His eyebrows lift. “Second thoughts? About Spain?”
“Yes. I’m not sure what I want anymore.”
Mark blinks, looking dumbfounded. “Well, that’s a first. Has something happened?”
“No, I’ve just been thinking it over. I don’t know if my original reasons for pursuing the idea were all that solid.”
“Okay, you need to come into my office. Get out your phone, we’re setting up a meeting.” He looks at his phone. “Monday at three thirty? Or I have Tuesday at two.”
“Anything later in the week?”
“Monday or Tuesday, Jade.”
“Okay, Tuesday. I’ll see you then.”
“Jade? Listen, I’m not here to convince you to pursue your plans in Spain; it’s to make sure that if you do pursue it, you do it correctly. You have to make a choice, and you don’t have much time.”
“I know that,” I say quickly, even though I was holding out hope Mark might just determine my life’s future for me.
“Good. Do some serious thinking between now and next week, because I don’t want to hear ‘I don’t know.’ Clear?”
