“My mom used to bring me here every year when I was a kid,” Reeve says when we find a table and start tearing into the food. “Even when I outgrew the whole thing, it was worth it for the funnel cake.”
“Is it as good as it used to be?”
He runs his finger over my lip, wiping away a dusting of sugar, then licks it off his finger. “Better.”
I’m hit with a hazy memory of those same fingers against my bare flesh, and my stomach does a tiny flip. I push it away, reminding myself that I might want him, but I don’t need him, and tear off a greedy chunk of funnel cake.
“You never told me where you were from,” Reeve says.
“A little south of San Francisco. My parents wouldn’t have been caught dead at a carnival, but they’re two of the most boring people on earth.”
“The carnival was my mom’s thing. She met my dad here, actually.”
“Here? At this carnival? That’s adorable.”
“Not really. I think she was just torturing herself by coming back here every year with me. Or maybe she was trying to paint over the bad memories of my dad.”
“Were they together a long time?”
“A few years. I’m sure it wouldn’t have lasted even that long if I hadn’t come along.” He glances around the carnival grounds, the blinking lights from the row of food trucks reflecting in his faraway gaze. “Every year she’d drag me here all happy and excited, and then at some point during the evening things would go south and she’d tell me her sob story: how she was on a college scholarship and on track to be the first college graduate in her family. Then she met my dad while he was working here. She got pregnant, he convinced her to drop out of college and do the family thing, and then before too long he split.”
“Did she still love him?”
He looks surprised by the question, like he’d never considered it before. “Maybe she did. She definitely hated him, but I guess that’s ’cause she loved him too. I think she was used to breaking dudes’ hearts before she met my dad. She couldn’t get over him doing that to her.”
“My mom’s like that in some ways. My dad has cheated multiple times, and she’s so devoted to him she stays. She thinks someday things will go back to the way they were before when he was as in love as she is, and it’s just sad. They might’ve been great together once upon a time, but that can’t last.”
He meets my eye. “You don’t think so?”
“Not if life has taught me anything.”
He’s quiet, watching thoughtfully as a young couple pushes a double stroller past our table.
“Don’t tell me you believe in everlasting love,” I say.
“I don’t know. I’d like to think it can happen for some people. Like Cam and Lenni, maybe. Just not for me.”
I follow his gaze to the couple with the stroller, watching the mom slide her hand through her husband’s arm.
“Let’s never be like our parents,” he says.
“Deal.” I sigh and dip my finger into the sugar left in the bottom of the cake plate. “Well, I feel pretty awful about bringing you here. I had no idea it would be a hotbed of childhood trauma.”
“Don’t be. It’s my mom’s heartbreak, not mine.” His eyes lock on mine and hold my gaze. “Besides, this is the best night I’ve ever had at the carnival.”
I tell myself not to turn his words into something they’re not, but my cheeks flush with heat anyway. “You know, I haven’t forgotten our agreement. You owe me a big, fat prize before we leave here tonight.”
“Great. Tell me what you want and I’ll start kicking ass.”
It’s full dark as we stroll between the game booths while I scope out the biggest prizes. They’re all hideous, of course, ugly plush animals in garish colors with fur that looks like it was picked out of a stale hairball. But the one little corner of my heart that’s not black and cynical is telling me there’s an irresistible cheesy romance in him winning me a big, stupid stuffed animal.
“You know what?” I say as we walk into the glow of a thousand dancing multicolor lights from the carnival rides. “Let’s put the prize on hold. I want to go on the Ferris wheel.”
We’re not even touching, but I sense him stiffen beside me. “Oh. Uh, yeah, go ahead. I’ll work on winning you the biggest stuffed gorilla this town’s ever seen.”
“What? No way! You’re going to let them lock me in next to some random townie?”
“If it means I get to keep my feet on the ground, hell yeah.” He sticks his hands in his pockets and looks everywhere except at my face.
