“Clearly.”
She huffs. “Well, I was stupid enough to believe we were amazing together. Right up until the day my illusions blew up in my face.” Her chair screeches across the floor as she stands up suddenly, her expression streaked with anger. She storms over to the bathroom and slams the door.
I sit for a minute, too surprised to do anything else. Doesthis chick have a temper or what? Then I hear the unmistakable sound of snuffling on the other side of the door. She’s crying. Guilt washes over me. Instinct tells me to go to her and put my arms around her, but Jade’s nothing if she’s not proud. She’s not going to melt into my arms. She’s more likely to fight me off like a trapped animal. I give her a minute. When there’s only silence from the bathroom, I walk over and knock softly.
“Jade?”
No answer.
“Jade, I’m sorry.”
Still no answer. Then the bathroom door opens. She’s standing in front of the mirror, running a Q-tip under her eyes where her makeup has run while she sniffles. “Screwed up my eyeliner,” she says without looking at me.
I walk in and stand behind her, watching her in the mirror. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed anything about you and Sam.”
“It’s not you. I shouldn’t have blown up like that. There’s another thing Sam hated about me: I’m a hothead.”
“See, I actually like that in a woman. The sound of vases smashing against a wall really gets me going.”
She rewards me with a small smile, but it disappears quickly. Sighing, she meets my eye in the mirror. “I’m sorry.” Her voice is fragile. “Truth is, it was kind of a shit relationship, but that’s mostly on me. I didn’t see it that way until it was way too late. It’s myself I’m mad at.”
I want to close the distance between us, to be able to touch her and wipe away all the hurt in her eyes, but I’m just not that good. I settle for a hand on her arm, and when she doesn’t slap it away, I move closer. I tuck her long hair over her shoulder. When my fingers graze the soft skin on her neck, her eyes close.
“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to,” I tell her. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to.”
“No.” She turns around to face me. “I want to. The last thing I want is for you to think I still have feelings for Sam. I couldn’t be happier he’s out of my life.”
“Then why are you mad at yourself?”
“Because I let myself believe that relationship wouldn’t end until I said so. Sam always used to tell me I was out of his league. Being with him was like being worshipped. I know that sounds insanely conceited, and the only reason I’m admitting it is because, well, you’re you. You understand conceited.”
“Guilty as charged.” I like how she’s not even the slightest bit apologetic with her insults.
“So that was our dynamic; I thought he got off on it as much as I did. It wasn’t until the day he broke up with me that I had any idea he wasn’t happy. I was totally blindsided.”
“Were you happy the way things were?”
“I guess I was. It felt safe, at least. I thought as long as he loved me more than I loved him, I couldn’t get my heart broken. In the end, he told me he wasn’t sure he ever loved me ... that it was only infatuation.” Her eyes well up with tears again, but she doesn’t try to hide them.
“Total. Dick.”
She nods as a few more tears trickle down her cheeks. I want so badly to wipe that hurt clean off her face.
“I’ve never been in love,” I say without thinking. “But being rejected by someone I trusted? I feel that in my soul.”
Jade looks as surprised as I feel by that revelation. “You do?”
I nod. “I’ve known that hurt as far back as I can remember.”
Her gaze softens, and a wave of embarrassment comes over me at how much I just overshared—how did she get that out of me without even trying? But she moves past it quickly. “Sorry for being so emotional. When I’m tired, I really can’t hold it together. It’s not right for me to put this all on you.” She reachesfor a tissue and wipes away her tears. “God, I’m going to have a raging headache in the morning.”
“You can put anything you want on me, Jade. No rules, remember?”
She looks up at me, searching my face. I know she’s not ready to trust me—why should she? But I’ve never lied to her before and I’m not starting now. “I guess that was our deal, wasn’t it?”
I nod and move closer to her. Her scent is spicy and dark and has the same effect on me as every other time I’ve been close enough to smell it: instant hard-on. She doesn’t back away. Her eyes are red-rimmed and still smudged with makeup, but damn if it doesn’t make her sexier. Her face is straight-up raw beauty, and she looks up at me, defiant, daring me not to touch her.
I put my hand under her chin and tilt her head back. She complies, her eyes half closed. “You know what?” I whisper. “I’m glad Sam turned out to be such a prick.”
