“The boarding school kid with the hand tattoos? Couldn’t be less interested—in him or any man, by the way. You just want me to be tied down so I won’t jet off to Europe.”
“True. And because you know what they say about the best way to get over a man ...”
“Been there, done that. Besides, I’m over Sam.” I hoist myself onto the counter and sit back against the cabinet, already worn out by the conversation. “I’m just not over how wrong I was about me and him.”
She looks me squarely in the eye. “No one saw it coming, Jade. I don’t even think Sam knew he was going to end it until the words were halfway out of his mouth.”
She’s said this before during one of our many in-depth analyses of the breakup. And the thought is comforting, but it only adds to the sense of uncertainty I’ve felt ever since Sam told me we needed time apart.
“You know what he said to me the last time we talked about it? That he’s not sure he was ever in love with me.” The memory still carries a sting, but it’s a dull one.
Lenni’s jaw drops.
“Yeah. He said he was just enamored with me.” Against my will, my heart clenches inside my chest.
“You didn’t tell me that. What an asshole!”
“Not really. He didn’t say it to be a jerk; he was just being Sam, you know? Socially awkward, overly analytical about any sort of anomaly in his own thinking.”
She gives me a doubtful look. “He’s the top student in an aerospace engineering program and headed for a PhD at MIT. I don’t care how socially awkward he is; he’s smart enough to know that would hurt you.”
“I can’t totally blame him.” I look down at my boots and focus on rubbing a smudge off the white leather. “I was pretty selfish.”
Lenni shakes her head. “Sam is the only man on earth you make excuses for.”
“Not true.”
“You think Santa Claus is a bum!” She chucks a pretzel at me, grinning.
I bat it away, the heaviness lifting as quickly as it came. “He is. Mrs. Claus and the elves and the reindeer are the brains and brawn of the operation. That useless zilch takes a leisurely sleigh ride once a year and somehow gets all the glory.”
Lenni laughs. “Mr. and Mrs. Claus are one of the all-time-great couples.”
“See, that’s how you know Santa isn’t real. No love can last that long.”
TWO
reeve
“Reeve!Hey, man, nice game! Bring home theWfor us this weekend, would you?”
I look up to see a guy in a red Shafer T-shirt pumping his fist in the air. Do I know him? Nope. That’s the way I like it, though. When a random stranger risks being ignored by the starting quarterback just to throw him a compliment, you know it means something. Of course, I never ignore my fans.
“Thanks,” I tell him with a nod and a smile. “Can’t win ’em all, but I can always kick ass.”
“Right on,” the guy says with a laugh that seems forced.
I forgive him, though. It wasn’t really funny, and besides, I didn’t kick ass during our season opener on Saturday. If I had, maybe we would have been able to overcome our embarrassing defense and pull out a win.
A familiar anxiety comes over me as I cut across the bright-green grass of Shafer U’s quad. I’m in my senior year with this team, and we’ve never started off a season this badly. We’ve only played one game, so we have time to make it up, but it’s been an ugly start. And winning has never mattered more than it does now.
I’ve always known I was headed for the NFL. And since my senior year of high school, so has every coach, teammate, and scout who’s watched me play. I’m starting quarterback for one of the top-ranked teams in the nation. I’ll make the cut. But my performance so far this season hasn’t exactly been first-round-draft-pick worthy; half my offensive line is recovering from offseason injuries, so I’ve been running for my life. And anything less than a top-ten pick would be an embarrassment after the hype I’ve gotten since I enrolled here. Nothing else I do could ever come close to my football skills. Unlike some of my friends with perfect GPAs or awesome job prospects or a family business their parents are waiting to hand over, football is all I have.
So that’s how I know a year from now I’ll be in the NFL. Not because I’m the best QB this school has seen in decades. Because I have no other choice.
I try to get my head straight as I head to practice, taking a few breaths of warm, late-summer air and trying to enjoy them. Here in the Midwest, fall arrives early, exactly the way I like it. Screw summer, fall has been my favorite season since the day I picked up a football.
As I approach the football facility, I spot Cam, my best friend and our star wide receiver. He heads my way, not smiling. Cam’s been stressed about our big loss, too, but there’s an unusual tension etched into his face right now.
