One reporter jokes that I must know something the rest of them don’t because I’m grinning like I’ve already won.
“What can I say?” I tell them. “I’m a Heisman finalist and I’m in love. Far as I’m concerned, I’m on top of the world.”
A few of the journalists in the audience love this. A few of them look confused. All three of the guys I share the stage with look at me like they’re checking to see if I’m high.
I don’t give a fuck. These fools are wishing today was over so they can wake up tomorrow and maybe have a chance at happiness, and here I am, alive and grinning because today is the best day of my life.
I’ve already won it all.
FORTY-EIGHT
jade
Friday night,I get into a cab to head to Reeve’s hotel. I’m raw and emotional and not even sure what the emotions are, only that they’re churning just below the surface and threatening to spill. When the driver finds out it’s my first time in New York since I was a kid, he says he hopes it lives up to my expectations, and I almost cry at his kindness.
I feel myself break as soon as Reeve opens his hotel room door for me. All my tender spots squeeze tight at the sight of him, and I have to swallow back tears. He’s still in his suit from the media event, and immediately I think,I fucking love him.His silver tie hangs loose around his neck, his shirtsleeves rolled up to reveal the smooth expanse of his forearms. I’m already breathless. An image flashes across my mind of the first time I saw him walk into the restaurant, looking perfect in his shirt and tie. He was so beautiful and I hated him so much—at least I thought I did. Life can change with one single look.
He draws me into the room and smiles a slow, docile smile. “You’re here.”
I nod. “I’m here. I can’t really believe it; it’s been the strangest day. But I’m here.”
“I needed you here. I don’t know how I ever thought I could make it through this weekend without you, but I need you.” He takes my hand and squeezes it between his. “Will you stay tomorrow for the ceremony? I’ll find a way to pay if there’s a charge to change your plane ticket. I just need you here with me.”
“It’s already done. I’m here until Sunday.”
He pulls me close and presses his lips to my head. I shut my eyes and hold on, for a moment pushing away everything I need to say to him. “Jade,” he whispers. He shifts so that his forehead rests on mine and I can look into his eyes. “I want to be with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes.”
All I can do is nod, choked again by emotion.
“I know you have doubts about me and how things are going to change next year and what that’ll do to us. But nothing could ever matter more to me than you.”
I shake my head. “I never had any doubts about you. That’s where I went wrong: not telling you that I never had a single doubt about wanting you. I felt exactly what you felt. I fell in love with you before I ever saw it coming.”
Reeve squeezes his eyes shut like my words have bruised him. Knowing my love means this much to him fills me with joy and fear. I can’t ever let myself hurt him again.
I slide my hand under his shirt and up his chest to his heart. The steady beat under my palm reminds me of his strength and his vulnerability, and I vow silently to forever protect them both. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “All that time I was falling in love with you, I never bothered to let you know. I kept myself locked up so tight.”
The emotion in his eyes is so pure. He tucks my hair behind my ear and lets his finger graze slowly down my neck, setting off an explosive shiver. “It doesn’t matter now.” His hands draw a slow, tantalizing trail across my shoulder, between mybreasts, down my belly, and back up again. His touch is light as a feather, but it rocks me to my core.
I draw in a shuddering breath. His scent makes me feel drunk. It’s getting hard to keep my eyes open, the temptation to shut up and just feel overwhelming. “It does matter. There’s so much I should have said to you.”
He smiles and tilts my chin up until my lips feel the warmth of his. “We have the rest of our lives for that.”
He kisses me and all the pain and hurt inside me releases. For this one moment, doubt and fear don’t exist, and in their place something solid—something I can believe in forever—takes root. I grip his shoulders and deepen the kiss. My nipples ache when his smooth hands curve around to my lower back and he dips his fingers inside my jeans. I undress him slowly and methodically, craving his naked skin against mine, and he mirrors my movements until we’re both standing on a bed of discarded clothing.
He lifts me off the ground, his strength making it seem effortless and making his arms feel like the safest place I’ve ever known, and I wrap my legs around him and let him carry me to the armchair in the corner, where he centers me in his lap so the hot bulge of his cock is pressed torturously between us.
One hand cups my ass while the other fondles my breast, tugging lightly at my piercing exactly the way he knows I love it. I let him set the pace, not rushing him even though my body longs for more. For the first time, I know in my heart we have forever. He leans down, lashing my stiff nipple with his slick tongue, making my back arch.
My hips move involuntarily, grinding against him, seeking the rhythm that will push me over the edge. His lips move up my neck to my mouth, where he locks me in a kiss. We’re both hungry for more; his mouth has the same frenzied, restless energy as mine. But even if we have the rest of our lives, I needhim to know what’s in my heart now. I can’t let it pass us by like I’ve done so many times.
I pull back and look into his hazy eyes. “I never knew I could want anything as much as I want this.”
“Want what?”
“Your body. You. This moment.”
He gives me a blissful smile. “It’s all yours. Tonight and forever.”
