I realize I’m staring at her, my jaw slack, and I shake myself out of it. “Right. Thanks.” I should let her assumptions lie, because we’re veering into some seriously bizarre boss/employee territory here in the back office, but I feel the need to defend Reeve. “But, actually, he didn’t cheat. I’m the one who ended it.” I’m insulted by how utterly shocked Cecily looks at this news, but I guess that’s fair, because it’s not entirely true. “Okay, actually, that’s not really true. We both sort of wanted out at the same time, even though?—”
“Okay, let me stop you right there. Look ...” She rubs her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but woman to woman, believe me: It’s totally normal for young guys to be crappy lovers. You have to be the one to teach him.”
I almost die. “No, no,” I say quickly before she starts offering detailed instructions. “It’s nothing like that.”
She stares at me expectantly. “Well? Now I’ve gotta know.”
Really? Even Reeve himself probably doesn’t know what the hell happened to us, but I’m about to explain to my fiftysomething boss who hates me all the ways I’m so damaged that I can’t accept love when it’s dropped in my lap? “We’re too young for commitment. We both have big plans in the next few years and didn’t want to be tied to one person. It was just supposed to be fun. We knew that going in.”
“Sounds mature.” Cecily nods, but I can’t tell whether she’s impressed or skeptical. “You got what you wanted.”
“Right. I got what I wanted.”
Some victory.
The next afternoonI meet Luis at one of the basketball gyms on campus. Luis isn’t just a patient tutor and student president of Shafer’s Community Committee, he’s incredibly persuasive—not only did he convince me to spend the next four hours sorting and packing food donations for the Community Committee’s Thanksgiving food drive, but he got Lenni and Cam to sign up with me for the sole reason they were standing in the same room when he asked me.
Luis sets me up at a table, sorting nonperishables, which would be easy if not for the fact that he labeled the sorting boxes in Spanish, and I have to translate the labels every time another volunteer comes by wondering where to put the cans of yams and green beans, bags of marshmallows, and boxes of stuffing.
“Repetition is key!” Luis says cheerfully, this bit of wisdom amplified by the acoustics in the gym.
When Lenni and Cam show up, Luis assigns Lenni to my table; then, after a look at Cam’s cut biceps, he orders him to carry and stack the filled boxes of donations. Cam seems relieved to be working away from me.
Luis is a spark plug when given command over others. He’s always bossy during tutoring, but today, with forty-plus volunteers at his beck and call, he’s in overdrive, barking orders, looking over people’s shoulders, loudly counting how many items they’ve sorted and packed in a disapproving tone. His charm is that the more critical he is, the more animated he becomes, dancing a jig, breaking into song, shouting out lyrics to Top 40 songs from decades ago.
“It’s how I make friends and still get away with being a boss bitch,” Luis told me during our second tutoring session after he boldly shushed Shafer’s top basketball center in the library, then topped it off with a brief clip from a song about the power of silence.
Once I’ve mastered the meaning of the food labels, Luis starts bossing me around in Spanish. He keeps circling back to me to engage in conversation and leaning close to correctmy grammar. He’s a hard-ass, but he makes learning Spanish fun. Maybe not as fun as my sessions with Reeve—which always ended in incredible sex—but I’ve learned more from him, probably because our sessionsdon’tdevolve into sex.
“Did you and Cam have a fight?” I ask Lenni after I notice Cam send a couple of cool glances our way.
She looks up at him. “No, why?”
“He keeps glaring in our direction.”
“He’s okay. Just a little moody lately, but it’s about football. As always.”
Luis comes by and whispers something in my ear about his hopes that Cam might be bisexual. There’s no way Cam could have heard, but when I laugh, he glares at me over his shoulder. “Could you laugh any louder, Jade?”
Lenni and I exchange a surprised look. Cam’s a lot of things, but he’s not an asshole. “I mean, I guess I could if you want,” I call over to him. “How’s this? Ha ha ha!” I’m as loud and obnoxious as possible, hoping to make him smile or at least roll his eyes affectionately like he usually does when he disapproves of my behavior.
But when he turns this way, his eyes are cold. He comes over and drops a box loudly on our table. “How about having some fucking self-awareness, Jade?” He stalks off, leaving me in stunned silence.
I turn to Lenni. “What the hell was that?”
“Don’t worry about him.” But her eyes are lined with concern as she watches him walk away.
“He’s mad at me about Reeve?”
“I don’t know. He’s worried about Reeve, he’s worried about their season. Just let it go.”
“And he’s taking it out on me?”
Lenni huffs out a breath. “Do you blame him? At variouspoints you’ve hated Reeve and Cam for what you thought they did to me.”
“You think I was shitty to Reeve.”
“I think you protected your heart. That’s all.”
