On the contrary. I’m dying to understand what happened between him and Blair, but that might be leaping past too many boundaries and straight into the center of inappropriate conversation. “Speaking of trust,” I hedge. “How are we handling Blair now that the party is over? If we see any of your friends are we going to act like, oh, it didn’t work out between us?”
It doesn’t help that we’re standing close now, looking in each others’ eyes. I can smell his woodsy cologne and see the way his fingers play with the edge of the stocking from the periphery of my vision. I remember what it felt like to have those hands around me.
“I suppose that will depend entirely on whether Blair is present.”
“But my sister can’t think it’s real,” I say. Or my parents, once they get here, but I don’t remind him of that part.
“You could tell Luna?” he suggests.
“True, but that might still get her hopes up.”
Gavin’s lips curve the slightest bit. “I can manage Blair if I have to. It was nice for the evening to use you as a shield. Thank you for running into battle with me.”
I don’t like the sound of him letting me off the hook. I want to keep being his shield, to be useful enough that he takes my hand or puts his arm around me if we end up seeing Blair again for any reason. It’s notsmartto want it, but I do. And it has nothing at all to do with my bucket list.
“I’ll talk to Luna,” I say. “The whole town will think we’re something now anyway, so I don’t think I can get out of it. Don’t do anything hasty in the meantime.”
Has he moved closer? “What do you mean byhasty?”
My neck tips back a little to keep hold of his gaze, so yes, hehasmoved closer. “Fake-breaking up with me or something wild like that.”
He laughs. “I’ve never broken up with a woman. You can believe if we were together, I wouldn’t end that streak with you.”
I simultaneously love and hate what he just said. Am I glowing? It feels like I’m radiating heat. “This is a Band-Aid fix, you know. I should be advising you to do pretty much anything else.”
Does Gavin blink less than the average man, or is time moving slower? The pull between us grows taut. “Will you advise me to do something else?”
There’s what Ishoulddo, then there’s what Iwantto do. My head feels light, because despite the pretty clear signals I think I’m getting, I’ve been very, very wrong before with Gavin, and nothing about our situation has changed since that first night. In fact, things are only cementing today—our families are arriving.
For some reason, this doesn’t stop me from recklessly shaking my head. “No.”
“Good.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CALLIE
My sister isa gorgeous fall of rain after a long drought. I hate not being able to see her often. When she steps through the front door, her presence regulates my equilibrium and restores balance to my nervous system at once. Her hair is long, dark with a gentle wave, and her cheekbones are high and pronounced. But the best thing about her is the smile. I know that smile so well. The moment she catches my eye while holding my squishable nephew, my body anchors, grounded and flooded with overwhelming gratification. It’s like I walk around missing a limb, but when Luna’s here, my body is entirely whole again.
“You made it!” I squeal, crossing the room with my arms out. Gavin is in the kitchen checking on his roast, and it’s been dark outside for a few hours, even though it’s just past six.
Luna puts an arm around me and we hug around Oliver, who squirms for freedom. “Not the best drive, but we’re here now.”
Violet runs inside, her copper curls bouncing as she stomps in from the cold. Her little four-year-old cheeks are rosy and her blue eyes bright. She’s followed by her mom, Ruby, holding Poppy on her hip.
“Ruby!” I say, leaning in to hug her and avoiding her long, auburn ponytail. She’s shorter than me, and the resemblance between her and her girls is uncanny. “Poppy has gotten so big.”
“Me too! I’m so big too, aren’t I?” Violet asks, her tiny English accent so adorable it’s making my insides squeeze. Her hair bounces as she hops on her little feet. “I’m almost five now, you know. I’ll be five on January ninth.”
“You areenormous,Violet,” I say, crouching to her level. “You can’t be turning five. Surely you’re turning fifteen.”
She giggles. “Mum, Callie thinks I look fifteen. Do I look fifteen?”
“No, love. She’s just being silly.”
“Fifteen,” I whisper, winking before rising. Rhys and Hamish approach the door overladen with bags, so I move to hold it open for them. Each new addition adds a little more peace and comfort to my heart. How could I possibly have been disappointed that they were arriving? This is what wholeness feels like.
“Hello, Callie,” Rhys says, pulling me in for a tight hug. He smells like the cold.
