I pause a moment before nodding. “Hurry.”
His eyes fill with relief, and he exhales sharply before sprinting away into the dense underbrush.
A long breath flows from my lips as I push myself to my feet. My ankle stings, but it’s not too bad. I walk back to where I passed Cameron and cover my mouth when I see what he’s done.
The girl’s mask is still on, so I don’t know who she is, but her eyes are bloodshot and rolled to the back of her head. Cameron’s blade is buried in her gaping mouth, pinning her head to the frozen earth. Her rib cage is spread open, a few ribs broken off and tossed carelessly to the snow. The steam that rolls from her body makes my eyes burn.
Why is it so beautiful—him gazing up at me with blood smeared over his mask, those sage eyes taking in my awe and waiting for me to say something.
“Ireallyneeded that.” Cameron finally breaks the silence. I flinch at the sound of his voice. This is who Mori really is. Why do I find it so chilling to know someone as demented as me?
“You’re…” Words fail me.
Cameron stands and circles me slowly.
“Wicked?” he breathes along my neck, tracing his fingers across my lower back. I whirl, coming face-to-face with his starving eyes. He’s pulled down his mask, revealing a twistedsmile. “Cruel?” he murmurs against my lips, and the warmth makes my heart skip a beat. My entire body trembles as he nips my lower lip over my mask before pressing his forehead to mine and wrapping a hand around my back, pulling me closer. He brushes his nose across my cheek, inhaling when he reaches my hair.
I back up once more, a shiver shooting straight up my spine at the wild glint in his eyes. I can’t tell if he’s himself right now.
“Beautiful.” My voice is quiet, yet it consumes the space between us.
Cameron’s eyes widen as if the words have struck him.
He doesn’t pursue me this time. He glances down and seems to process that single word. I take the reprieve to inspect him. Cameron is completely covered in blood. Most of it isn’t his, but his thigh has a combat knife sticking out of it, only visible by the handle. Does he even know? I steady my breaths and force myself to stop shaking.
“Um, Cameron. You have a knife sticking out of your thigh,” I say slowly.
His eyes narrow and a lovely smirk draws the corners of his mouth up. “I’m well aware.” He tuts, tearing the knife out in one fell swoop and sheathing it quickly so he can tourniquet his wound. He pulls out tape from his leg pocket and wraps his thigh tightly.
I grimace. “Let’s get back before you keel over and other squads come looking to attack us. We’ve already lost so much time this morning.” I try to keep his mind off potentially killing me. He has that feral look in his eyes still. Like he’s half here and half somewhere far off in his head.
“That’s what she’s for.” He motions to the dead cadet. I raise a brow. “A warning. A damn good one too. Would you try chasing after someone who left a person like that?” he says with a loose grin.
My blood goes cold and I shake my head. “No, of course I wouldn’t.”
“Good girl. Don’t go chasing men like me.” His voice is raspy from the chase, and blood starts to trickle down his nose. I look away, reminded of what happened the last time I showed him I cared about him.
Which I don’t.
I motion for Cameron to walk ahead of me. Letting him be out of my eyesight is not an option right now. I find myself curious to see his methods. It’s difficult to avoid letting my eyes travel back to the mutilated woman, but I manage. The scent of iron stinging the back of my throat helps.
He walks casually, not even with a limp. I still find it hard to believe he feels nothing. Even seeing it firsthand seems so unreal.He’s like a zombie. His gloved hands are bright red, still dripping into the snow and leaving a trail.
“I can feel your gaze. Do you still think I’m worth caring about, Em?”
I don’t answer right away. It feels like bait for something he’s been thinking about, and I don’t want to give in to whatever it is. I settle with muttering, “Earlier you said, ‘How do you think I won the first time around.’ What did you mean by that?” I focus on the footprints in the snow behind his feet.
Feeling helpless isn’t something I’m used to, and Cameron makes me feel helpless. Even wounded, I have no doubt he could take on a whole squad alone if he had to. Are the medications really that effective? I eye his pocket, curious how many pills he’s already taken today alone.
His pace slows. “Do you honestly want to know?” he says blandly.
I consider it for a few seconds before replying, “Yeah.”
Cameron glances over his shoulder at me. His eyes have fallen dull again, and he seems to be over the dangerous adrenaline spike. I let my pace slow when I reach his side.
“Believe it or not, I wasn’t always…thisbad,” he murmurs with a fake smile. Everything else about his expression is stone. “I was like everyone else and just as likely to die. Possibly more so because I was handpicked by Lieutenant Erik. Cadets in the Under notice things like that, you know.”
“I didn’t know he was the one who picked you up,” I mutter, remembering the way Erik watched Cameron train the morning I met him. Is he the reason that Cameron is so determined to continue taking the test medications? He wants to make him proud. I’m sullen at the thought.
