“Are you okay?” I ask quietly, trying not to scare her.
She startles anyway and stands quickly. Tears streak her cheeks, but she raises her fists like she’s ready to fight me.
I huff. “I’m not here to try to kill you, Bree. I overheard you crying.”
She bristles at my words. “I wasn’t crying.” My eyes drift down to the floor where I can see a few shiny drops of water. She groans. “What do you want?” she snaps.
“I’m terrified about tomorrow too. It doesn’t help that they’ve hardly given us anything to go on.” I offer a weak grin. Her eyes widen a fraction before she narrows them again.
“What areyouso afraid of? Mori is going to keep you safe.” She sounds so convinced. Is that what they all think? I suppose it makes sense that Nolan didn’t share Mori’s terms for his resentencing down in the Under.
“More like his one task is tonotkill me,” I mumble. Half wanting her to hear it and half not. But her eyes light up and she stares at me.
“What?” she says as if she’s just been told she won’t die tomorrow.
I shouldn’t have said anything. My hand darts to the back of my neck where Cameron had kissed me.
“His main task is not killingme. So don’t worry about him. Worry about all the other cadets out there.” I offer her a mild grin. Reed always chided me for trying to cheer others up. Sometimes I’d even try to make people smile right before I sawed their heads off. One last dose of endorphins before lights-out.
Bree’s brown hair is pulled back into tight braids, she twirls one as she assesses me. “Why tell me that?” she asks warily.
I shrug. “Because if you’re this freaked out about Mori, you might let your guard down around someone else who’s after you…and I’d rather you survive than half of the jerks down here with us.”
Bree takes a deep breath and lets her arms fall to her sides. “Thanks, Emery…and good luck out there.” She walks up to me and sets her palm on my shoulder. “My advice for Mori? Make him fall in love with you. Use your body. Use anything you can to survive.” I nod at her and she smiles before leaving and disappearing into the dark hallway.
I sit in the corner of the infirmary and let my head fall back against the medical drawers, a smile pulling at the corner of my lips. She doesn’t know that Cameron basically just told me he only sees me as his next killable toy.
I’m so fucked.
The lights come on with a loud buzz, and the drill sergeant blows his whistle as he stomps up and down the aisles of beds. I quickly sit up, surprised by the different routine than the one I’ve grown used to.
“Everyone in your uniforms in five. We’re loading up in exactly twenty minutes and I want you in line and ready to board the train,” he shouts.
We’re all scrambling to our feet. I throw on my hoodie and try to make a beeline for the bathroom before it gets swarmed with other cadets, but Adams grabs my forearm. My heart is in my throat as I stare up at the huge soldier. He’s absolutely horrifying this close, partly because he’s always yelling.
“Cadet Maves, correct?” he inquires, and surprisingly his voice isn’t as harsh as it usually is. I stare into his cold gray eyes and nod. “You and Mori are to get showered and prepared, then meet me up front in the arena. The two of you havespecialarrangements.” I don’t miss the glint of pity in his eyes before he looks at Cameron beside me.
“Yes, Drill Sergeant,” I reply. I don’t acknowledge Cameron as I head straight to the showers. The last thing I want to do right now is think about what happened between us last night and my dumb question.
It’s chaos in the bathroom as everyone is trying to quickly rinse off and get mentally prepared to likely die today.
There are a handful of eager cadets with murder painted on their grins. They carefully look over everyone as if they’re trying to remember the people on their mental lists. The only two staring at me with hunger in their eyes are Wraith and Arnold.I hold their gazes for a beat before looking sharply away. Goose bumps spread up my arms, and I have to take a deep breath before my anxiety gets out of hand.
Today is the first trial. I can do this.
I bump into Cameron, our naked bodies slick with soap. It’s the first time seeing him in the shower at the same time as the rest of us. My eyes widen, but he only smirks. I don’t know how to look at him. Anything can happen after today. He could try to kill me, and he’ll have the weapons to do it. We’ll be out in the wilderness, and no one will be there to save me exceptme. Nolan never said I couldn’t kill Mori. The idea plants a thread of guilt inside me for even thinking it.
It’s not like we wouldn’t kill each other if the opportunity arose, right? If my hand is forced, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I give him a compelling smile.
“Don’t kill me today,” I joke, doing the final rinse on my hair and wringing it out.
“Don’t tempt me.” He winks back at me.
By the time I’m dressed, hair braided, and entering the arena, half of the other cadets are already lined up and waiting. I follow the drill sergeant’s orders and walk to the front where he’s waiting for us.
Cameron is already standing beside him. He’s dressed in matte black tactical gear from head to toe. His bulletproof vest has a patch over his chest that readsMori. This is the first time I’ve seen him dressed in anything other than a hoodie and athletic pants. I can already see a shift in his mentality, being clothed to kill.
Cameron’s eyes remain impassive when he spots me walking up to him. He’s smoking a cigarette and has dark war paint on his face. It’s smeared and makes him look more rugged than his usual presence. I look through the cadets and realize most of them have it too.I must’ve missed the memo.Cameron hasa thin can in his pocket of the paint and offers me some, but I decline.
