I hadn’t seen him since before the attack, when he had chained me up and beaten me senseless for insubordination. But the truth was that I never belonged to him. I’d left the evil of that world behind me when I walked away. I couldn’t save Trystan, but it seems that I’ve condemned him to a fate worse than death. He was so desperate for love that he allowed himself to be molded into the monster that our father wanted. I tried to be strong for him, to put myself in that position, but I was never capable of the sheer hatred that drove my father. Lachlan was the definition of evil, and Trystan was close to standing in his place.
As I stared at the beautiful woman in my lap, I knew I would protect her at all costs. I had never felt the sheer level of protectiveness that I did for her. I would burn the world for her if she asked me to. It killed me she was injured. I had felt the moment the explosion went off near her cell; the fear, panic, and pain that echoed through her body.
Mates. We weremates. I had figured it out, but I had never heard it uttered out loud. These days, mates were extremely rare, and I had never known anyone who had been lucky enough to find one. I wondered if she had heard what Trystan had said before she lost consciousness. It was possible; I suppose. Surely, she would have freaked out if she knew.
The situation with her and Damien was complex, and now with her knowledge Orion was a traitor and had been since before she was born. Would that change things?
She moved in her sleep, eliciting a low groan from her lips that set my heart on fire. I couldn’t look away as she blinked, obviously startled and unaware of where she woke.
“Shh, darling… You’re okay,” I whispered, smoothing her hair back and away from her face. Her stark black hair reminded me of a raven, my insignia. It was like she was made for me and me for her.
She rolled onto her back, staring up at the canopy of trees above us. “Where are we?”
“We’re safe. We’re on the Isle of Síocháin.”
“Peace,” she said after a moment, pondering the word. “That sounds lovely.” The sigh that escaped her lips was heavenly. I wanted to claim it, to claim her, but she looked so fragile in my hands.
Before we had teleported, I didn’t know where to turn. Trystan had already found us at my estate. Orion would have crawled back to Helia by now and spun a complex web of lies, so that was out. I wanted her safe, and that wasn’t in Helia now. It was an odd feeling, but I knew if she had asked me to take her there, then I would have. The Isle came to my mind in an instant. We couldn’t stay here for long, but it would give us a day or two to rest and come up with a better plan.
I’d only been here twice before. Once as I child and the other after I left my father’s wretchedness behind. Both times were something that I held on to, a little piece of hope in my darkest of times. It reminded me of Eva; she was my hope.
I don’t know when she came to mean so much to me. I think I was smitten with her the first time that I saw her at the ball.When I interrupted her and Damien, I thought. I could tell from a distance that she had a love for the guy, but she wasn’t in love with him. If she was? I would let her go to him. I would always let her choose her destiny, even if it wasn’t what I wanted.
“What’re you thinking about?” Her hand came up and smoothed away my furrowed brows, a sign of my discomfort. I bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent of lavender and vanilla. It was calming, and yet in the same sense, it also drove me wild and ignited a passion that had long been dormant.
I smiled at her, earning a slight blush across her cheeks. “You,” I said. “I’m always thinking about you. Are you feeling okay, Eva?”
She moved to sit, so I allowed her the space, gently guiding her up. She winced in obvious discomfort and my blood boiled. I would end Trystan for the pain he caused her. It was an all-consuming rage that ensnared me in its trap.
“Hey,” she breathed. “Your shadows are descending.”
I looked around and noted how the space surrounding us had become considerably darker. The shadows hugged the trees, drifting between them like clouds in the sky. I couldn’t always control the way my emotions played into my powers. I suppose Eva understood, since it rained when she cried or drew a flame when she was angry.What a pair we were, I thought to myself.
I helped her clean herself up, carefully washing away the traces of the horrors she’d been through in the past 24 hours. She told me how a nymph named Talia had come to her aid after the night in the dining room, cleaning her wounds and feeding her. My heart warmed at the compassion of others. It wasn’t often that you’d come across someone that would chance my brother’s wrath to offer aid. She cried when she admitted she wasn’t sure if she had made it off castle grounds alive, and it pained me I couldn’t offer her the comfort she sought. I could give false hope, but that would only hurt her more if her friend had perished, so I stayed silent and rocked her in my arms as she wept.
I thought about what Trystan had said that night in the dining room.“Do you not want her to know of your betrayal? How you captured her in hopes of securing her hand in marriage? To rule her kingdom for me, for us, for our father?”
“Eva, I need you to know that what Trystan said wasn’t true. I walked away from him and my father long ago.” Her body tensed, no doubt recalling the words he spoke.
“I think I knew that already. I could sense it in a way, the lie he spun, but thank you… Thank you for telling me.” She peered up at me with her wide eyes. I knew she wanted to ask about us being mates, but the words didn’t leave her lips. “The story you told me, the one of Lachlan, it was your story,” she whispered.
I nodded, swallowing the bile that threatened to rise in my throat. “It was the only way I could think to tell you without actually saying the words out loud. I’m ashamed, Eva. So fucking ashamed of who my family is, who I was for so long. I never…” But the words wouldn’t come as I broke down in a sob. I had held in the pain I felt for so long. Being here with her, baring my soul, I felt vulnerable in a way that I couldn’t describe. It felt… right.
“I’ve done things, Eva. Hurt people. You don’t know half the shit I’ve done.” I paced back and forth in front of her, running my hands through my hair and letting it fall around me. Shit. I needed to cleanse my soul. She needed to understand who the stars had destined her to be with. I was a fucking monster. The son of Lachlan, her enemy. I’d tried so hard to get away from him, from his control, and I’ve fought every damn day to stop being the man I was raised to be. But fuck, I hadn’t always had the control I had now. That doesn’t even consider all the shit I’d done before I had the courage to leave my father.
She looked at me, understanding in her eyes. I didn’t know how she did it. Had this blind faith in me. I didn’t deserve it. I was the last damn person in the world that deserved her understanding. Hell, my brother had killed her mother. She should hate me, hate my family. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of her leaving, though. I’d rather carve out my heart and offer it to her on a silver platter than have her walk away.
“I’ve killed people. Hundreds, maybe thousands, I don’t know. Most of them were bad, but Eva… Some were innocent. I knew they were innocent, and I still killed them anyway, or let them die as a necessary evil to take down my father. You must know that I’m not the prince that you deserve, and I won’t ever be. I was born in darkness, bathed in the shadows, and that is who I’ll always be at my core. I’ve tried to make amends for all the fucked-up things I’ve done in the past but fuck Eva… There is so much red in my ledger that I don’t know how to make it right. I can’t wipe the slate clean.”
She said nothing as she stood there, looking like a damn goddess. Her lips were pursed as if she was thinking about turning away. Fuck. I’d let her go, obviously. I didn’t deserve her, or the second chance that being with her would offer. But if she left, then that was it. There was no coming back from the pain it would cause. No amount of time could wash her from my skin.
“Did you know that I’ve been on the front lines of every battle since I was twenty-five?” I looked up at her curiously. I didn’t know where she was going with this.
“No, but I-”
“Don’t interrupt, Matthew. I let you speak your truth, now let me speak mine.” She pushed me down on the ground and I stared up at her. My goddess, my Queen.
“Every. Single. Battle. And in case you don’t know, there’s been a shit ton in the past two hundred and seventy-five years. But I was there. And I killed people. I killed soldiers that committed no crime other than being at the wrong place at the wrong time. They had families and lives just like I did. But I was on the side of winning and I struck them down without a glance. I was trained to cut first, ask questions later, and I did that. Every. Single. Time.” She looked down at me, but her face gave nothing away. I knew she had fought, and that she was skilled, obviously, but I didn’t realize the extent of her training. Royalty didn’t get their hands dirty. They preferred to leave that to their armies or generals.
