“I’ve never even considered it,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. “And I’m a little concerned that you have.”
“Where do you even buy an Ouija board?” Jill asks. “Where’d you get the doll? Is there a ‘Voodoo R Us’ store?”
Bailey’s face lights up. “Online. There’s this site called Dark Spells. Want me to send you the link? They have a great sale on crystal balls right now.”
“Enough,” I interject, raising my hands in the air. “You came here to eat ice cream and listen to me wallow, not discuss voodoo dolls, dick-stabbing, and séances. Though I appreciate the creative approach to breakup therapy.”
“You’re right,” Bailey says, looking contrite. “I’m sorry. Tell us what happened. And don’t spare any details. We’re here for the full soap opera experience.”
I take a deep breath, digging my spoon into the Cherry Garcia. “I went to Arlo’s to end things.”
“Did you have breakup sex?” Bailey blurts out. “Sorry, that just slipped out.”
“Bailey!” Jill scolds, throwing a pillow at her. “Filter, remember? We talked about this.”
“For the record, no,” I say, rolling my eyes. “There was no breakup sex, makeup sex, or any other kind of sex. Just a lot of yelling and hurt feelings.”
“Sounds like a typical Tuesday night at my place,” Bailey mutters.
I shoot her a look before continuing. “The funny thing is, I’m not even sad. I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him for a while, but it was hard to let go of the fantasy, you know? I thought he might be the one. But since the robbery, everything he does irritates me. I couldn’t keep going like that.”
I don’t mention that my dreams are filled with Ryder and the things he does to my body. That’s not something I’m ready to share, even with my best friends. Some fantasies are better left private.
“So, I went to Arlo’s house,” I continue. “He was waiting in the bedroom and tried to kiss me.”
Jill’s eyes widen. “Oh no.”
“I had to yell and push him off me. Then he started shouting that I’m frigid, that I’m terrible in bed, and he doesn’t know what he saw in me.”
“Fuck,” Bailey breathes. “What an asshole. Want me to key his car? I’ve got a mean carving technique. I can write ‘micro penis’ in cursive.”
Despite everything, I laugh. “As tempting as that is, I’ll pass. He just wanted to hurt me because he felt rejected. But it still stung, you know?”
They sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around my shoulders. The gesture is comforting, reminding me that no matter what happens with men, I’ve always got my girls.
“I told him I wanted to break up,” I continue, “and then Ryder burst in.”
“Ryder?” They say in unison, perking up like meerkats at the mention of his name.
I nod. “He heard the shouting and came charging in.”
“Ooh,” Jill coos. “The knight in shining armor. Or should I say, the bodyguard in a black t-shirt?”
“More like the bodyguard on the payroll,” I correct her, trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach at the memory of Ryder bursting through the door. “He’s just doing his job. He made that perfectly clear.”
“Trouble in paradise?” Bailey asks, eyebrows raised.
“There was never a paradise to have trouble in,” I mutter, stabbing my spoon into the ice cream.
Jill and Bailey exchange glances, a silent conversation passing between them.
“What?” I narrow my eyes. “What’s with the secret agent looks?”
“You’re totally into him,” Jill says, not even trying to hide her grin.
“I’m not,” I protest, but I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks.
“It’s okay, we’re here to support, not judge. Remember?” The corner of Jill’s mouth quirks up in a half-smile. “Besides, have you seen the man? I’d be worried if you weren’t into him.”
