Lizzie slotted the whisk into the drying rack with a vengeance. “Why are you so quick to get up when Jeannie starts crying?”
“I thought she needed help.”
“This is what I'm saying! Why only come out when somebody else needs help? What about when you need help?”
Jiyeon saw her mother’s expression and fell headlong into a memory. Last December, she went to Ivy Lane with her shoes full of sand, no phone, no job, and Lizzie looked just like this when she came to the door.Went to the beach, no jacket! Middle of the night! Threw your phone in the water, exactly like a crazy person!No one had ever scolded her so thoroughly. No one had ever held her so tightly.
She thought of how Eunjae might respond. Draping her apron over a chair, Jiyeon went to give Lizzie a hug. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Our Yeonnie, scared of nothing in the world," said Joey. "Nothing, except asking for help. What does your brother call this?” An invisible lightbulb wentdingabove his head. “A-ha! Tomfoolery.”
She’d have to hug him later. For now, Apollo had arrived. Jiyeon heard them before she saw them, as usual.
She picked her way over the plastic sheeting laid out on the dining room floor. A breeze whistled through the busted panels where glass used to be, carrying the noise indoors. Who told Jesse he could borrow that jacket? Could this old man buy Jaehwan-hyung a pizza franchise instead of ice cream again? Would it kill him to make an effort? And when would they get toeat breakfast? Some of them werestarving. Some of them hadn't eaten inhours.
She counted only six of the eight. “Where’s Eunjae?”
“Whoa, ajumma. That’s how you say hi to me?”
“Yikes.”
“Aww, Max isn’t here either. Why didn’t she ask about him?”
“He’s not important,” sighed Jungwoo, “and neither are we.”
Jesse bounced up in Vuitton overalls, warm and cozy in a matching Vuitton jacket. “Oh my gosh. Noona, what if it was one of us instead? You know, when you opened the door that night—”
“Hmm. No.”
Six jaws dropped. Six sets of eyeballs popped out of six bewildered skulls. “Wow. She didn't even have to think about it… I've never been rejected so fast in my life...” Was that a shadow on the sidewalk, or Jungwoo's soul leaving his body?
Jeannie herded them into the restaurant. “You’ve gotta quit doing this,” she whined at Jiyeon. “Who just randomly finds idols standing outside? Who does that more than once in their lifetime? I can’t cope, okay? I’ve only had two shots of espresso and it’s not enough. I’m just absorbing the caffeine now. No, I'm becoming caffeine. So I energize other people, but I can't make any energy for myself.”
The guys were ordered to march into the kitchen. They promised Jeannie all kinds of treats in exchange for breakfast: concert tickets, incriminating photos, a villa in Tuscany. She told them to zip it and prepare for the mission brief. “How dare you ask me for food? Don’t you know I’ve got nothing left to give? Do you think this event organized itself?”
Not long after that, Jiyeon heard Denny and Max come in through the back. She couldn’t explain the compulsion to open the blinds; she just knew, somehow, that Eunjae would come around to the front. He’d want to see the door.
She went outside and rushed into his embrace. Eunjae could only hold her with his left arm; he had a parcel tucked under the right, flat and thin, wrapped in brown paper. Seeing the damage in person, he couldn’t manage a single word.
“It’s okay,” Jiyeon told him. “We’ll fix it.”
“We will.”
“Where’d you go?”
“Had to make an extra stop.” And then he said, “We’ve got time. Let’s run away.”
They couldn't be gone for long, so they didn't run very far. There was a small park down the block, a triangle of greenery wedged between two residential streets. The walk involved a slight uphill climb that took five minutes, give or take, and Jiyeon figured no one else would be around at this hour.
It was still so early, just after daybreak, with the sun obscured by a bank of clouds. Sometimes it managed to shine through, piercing the milky blue light with a glimmer of gold. They didn't talk much on the way there. Eunjae held tightly to her hand, breath fogging the air above the shearling collar of his jean jacket.
In the spring, the park’s lone jacaranda tree produced cascades of blue-violet blossoms. Jiyeon used to sit in its shade with Janie, stealing away from the shop for weekend lunch breaks. The last time she came here, Eunjae had just flown back to Seoul and a thick carpet of petals covered the ground. Now the tree was bare, its branches full of sky. Yellowing leaves trembled in the breeze.
They could come back at winter's end. Eunjae would be here, taking a million pictures. She wouldn't need that calendar on the wall in her kitchen because she'd be with him all year round. And there was still so much left to do, a battle they had yet to win, but Jiyeon felt only contentment. They were here together. They'd be here together again.
She'd gotten better at finding silver linings. Janie would gloat, if she knew. She'd be so annoying about it. “There are always flowers,” her sister loved to say, regardless of the season, untethered by time and its constraints. The girl read one coffee table book about art history and went on to quote Matisse at Jiyeon forever after.
There are always flowers for those who wish to see them.“You need to get better at finding the flowers, Yeonnie. Just keep looking and you'll find something good.” And then her sister would stitch another daisy into the cuff of her sweater, she'd embroider a bouquet on the pocket of Jiyeon's favorite jeans. Janie knew that it was hard for her to see the flowers, so she put them everywhere, well-meaning and heavy-handed in a way that only older sisters can be.
