“Would you just let me explain? Don't be like this, don't do that thing where you try to take care of it all on your own. You never ask for help even when you need it.”
“And do you think it’s helpful to scold us like we’re little kids? We both knew what we were doing, when we made this choice. I thought I was choosing to be with him, and only him, but so many people keep getting involved. That’s not normal.”
Normal. Eunjae flinched at the word she'd chosen. Instantly, she was sorry. Jiyeon ran up hard against her own exhaustion, a solid wall built with bricks she'd laid by hand. She was so tired. She didn't want to talk about this anymore.
Farther down the path, Apollo had congregated near the water, loaded with souvenirs and midway prizes. She could tell they were worried, but although she was grateful that they cared, it was just more weight to bear. Another row of bricks. Jiyeon stepped aside so that Eunjae could be drawn into the fold once more. Brothers slung their arms around him, veterans at concealing fatigue with jokes and laughter. He was the only one who couldn’t manage a smile.
The guys filmed their final segment of the day. Arthur joined her on the sidelines, more determined than ever. “You left this kind of life,” he persisted. “Said you were sick of living every second on camera. You didn't want it anymore. Now you're willing to do it again, just for him? I don't understand.”
“You don't have to understand. For the last time, this isn't your problem.”
“How can you say that? I know it's over between us, but you're still my friend, and so is Ari. I’m just worried. This could be bad for both of you.”
“So we should break up? Is that where you’re taking this?”
“I never said that! Emmie, come on.” Arthur sighed, pacing to the edge of the dock. “I guess I was pretty hard on him earlier, but I’ve got nothing against Ari. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be with him.”
“Good,” Jiyeon retorted, “since you’d have no right to say it.”
“Could you just let me talk? I want to help you!” He rubbed at his temple the way he always used to when they’d argue, like her stubborn defiance had given him a headache. Then Arthur said, “You guys have to keep this a secret, don’t you? I could help you hide.”
She stared at him. “What?”
“The fans won’t think you’re dating Ari if it seems like you’re with me. Solves so many problems. That's why they asked me to stay on. We don’t even need to pretend, they’ll just edit some footage and make it seem like we're together. It won’t be real. It’s just for optics.”
“Optics.”
“And it would be a lot safer,” he pressed on. “You could still be with him, but no one will suspect that anything’s going on—”
Well, there was only one answer. Jiyeon cut him off, unwilling to hear another word. “No,” she said. “We won’t be doing that.”
“Why not? Apollo’s PR guy said it was a great idea.”
So he was good buddies with Eric, too. “And where did this idea come from, originally? The same person who told you I'm with Eunjae?”
The look on his face was enough to confirm her suspicions. Over the course of their long relationship, as friends and then more, Arthur’s thoughts and motivations had always been as transparent as Jiyeon’s were opaque. The pieces fit. He’d met everyone in Eunjae’s family because he was staying at the same hotel. He’d brought her a ‘solution’ which involved active deception, the telling of a continuous lie. Arthur, who feltmorally compromised by even the smallest, most harmless fib. Arthur, who couldn't even lie about his schedule for the sake of a surprise birthday party. She knew him too well. He didn’t come up with that plan on his own.
“Next time you hang out with Leila, ask her why Eunjae has her number blocked.”
There was no attempt at denial. “She’s just worried about him. That’s his mom. It’s only natural.”
“Not everyone’s mom is like yours or mine. Leila’s been a lot of things, but she hasn’t been his mom.”
Jiyeon started walking away, but Arthur pursued. “You know what I said, when I found out you were dating him? I told her that it couldn’t be true. You don’t do stuff like this. It’s just not like you.”
“It’s just not like me to do what, Arthur?”
“To… to be like this!” he exclaimed, hands thrown up in exasperation. “Sometimes I don’t even recognize you. You’ve been with Ari for what, a few months? But you’re willing to be here, wasting your time working backstage on a reality show when you could be doing your own thing. You’ve known what you want out of life for as long as we’ve been friends, and that’s what you should be doing right now, you should be out there going after your big dream. I thought that was the plan. I can’t believe you’d change it for a guy. You definitely weren’t about to change anything for me.”
She read the hurt in his expression, the struggle to find order and meaning in a world that had flipped upside down, gone off track. She made note of the stubborn set to his jaw as he waited for her to acknowledge that she had, indeed, lost her mind completely. Her priorities had gone out the window. He was right and she was wrong. Wrong for not being the same girl he’d met in middle school, wrong for growing into a shape thatwas new to him. Jiyeon heard everything Arthur was trying to say. She even heard the things he refused to say out loud.
The water was cold, but shallow. Jiyeon shoved him into it.
“It’s your turn to listen. Plans change. This isn’t what I expected, but I’ve found something good and I won’t let go. And maybe I seem so different ‘cause you never really knew me. You just thought you did.”
He grabbed hold of the deck, splashing her shoes and the cuffs of her jeans. Jiyeon crouched down to look him in the eye. “I’m not done yet. It’s not my place to tell Eunjae that you can’t be friends. If he still likes you after this, that’s his call. But if you ever nag him about his mom or his job or anything else, you’d better hope I don’t find out. You don’t know the whole story. You don’t have any right.”
Arthur lost his grip on the sodden boards. He slipped below the surface, then popped up and scolded some more. “Emmie, donotpush his mom into the lake. I’m serious! I know that look! Geez, you really haven’t changed much after all, I take it back—”
