“Well. Maybe just a little bit.”
“So it’s fine.”
“It’s nothing drastic though,” she told Eunjae. “I might not be enough of a fan.”
“Are you sure? I’ve seen the calendar in your kitchen.”
“That’s a low blow. Your brothers bought it, I can’t be held responsible.”
“But you left it up,” he pointed out, “so you must be a fan.”
Tacked above and to the left of Jiyeon’s toaster, this calendar had been sold out since the previous Christmas. It contained a full year of Apollo’s Ari, one photo for each month. The backdrops were exotic locales and sweeping vistas. The fashion came straight from runways in Paris and Milan. Eunjae’s brothers contrived to find it on eBay for an exorbitant sum. Then they’d waited patiently for their chance to hang it on her wall and run.You can’t miss hyung if you’re soooooo sick of his face, Jesse had scribbled on the cover.
To grow so accustomed to the sight of Eunjae — what an unimaginable concept. At this point, he’d been gone longer than he’d ever stayed. But Jiyeon pushed this recurring sadness into the far corner of her mind. This was supposed to be date night, and he was stressed enough over the last-minute meeting. Eyeing the way he kept drumming his fingers on the desk, she said, “I bet it’s nothing bad, Eunjae.”
He sighed. “I hope it’s not about Max again. They need to stop asking him when he plans to break up with Hazel. He’s not getting any better at controlling his temper.”
“Whenishe planning to break up with her?” Jiyeon mused.
“Your guess is as good as ours,” said Eunjae.
“So much for it being a ‘temporary arrangement.’”
On multiple levels, it still boggled her mind that Max had been willing to go so far for the sake of revenge. Angry at Jungwoo, he’d declared himself in a relationship with the same actress his brother had been secretly dating off and on for months. Jungwoo hadn’t corrected the claim. And instead of denying it, Hazel had defied expectations by confirming the news as true. The two were now locked in a public relationship that continued to draw the ire of Apollo fans even as it complicated the group’s future. At one point, Sunshines even staged an ambush outside Hazel’s agency.
Eunjae viewed the reception of his brother’s dating news as a preview of what could be expected, should he go public with his own relationship. She knew better than to ask how long they’d be hiding. Jiyeon also knew better than to suggest, again, that she could handle whatever backlash they might face as a result. Even if Eunjae could tolerate the prospect of fans raging about her on the Internet, she understood that this was also about Apollo. The group couldn’t handle another wave of incendiary headlines. Not with new contracts and a new agency finally within reach.
So she kept quiet about it as Eunjae switched from video to a regular call, headed out to start his day even as hers drew to an end. She shut the blinds and left the lights off for a while. The dark softened perception and skewed distance, and if Jiyeon focused only on the sound of his voice in her ear, it was like a magic trick. He was here. He never left.
“A week still feels like forever,” she said. “Tell Denny to change your ticket.”
“Been asking every day since June.”
She remembered the photo from the car, still sitting in her bag. Jiyeon went to find it. There was room on her nightstand, right next to his favorite camera and the pair of glasses he’d left behind on purpose. And she’d joked about treating these objects like collateral, hostages held until Eunjae’s eventual return, but that was because Jiyeon didn’t want to cry about him leaving. At least, not while he could see.
A year ago, she would’ve managed this better. Now, she was exhausted. But if they’d met a year ago, two years ago, would Jiyeon have stopped long enough to truly see him? It took being exhausted to recognize that when she was with Eunjae, the world went beautifully, blissfully quiet. Time slowed down. She could rest.
“Eunjae,” she said, propping the photo against her bedside lamp.
“Mm.”
“Thanks for all the weird dates.”
“No problem. What about the car wash next? Aren’t some of those open twenty-four hours?”
“Yeah, but whew,” she replied. “The romance. It’s too much for me, I think.”
His laughter dispelled every doubt weighing heavily on her heart. Jiyeon held on to the warmth of that sound long after they said goodbye.
2
Althoughtablescouldn’tbereserved in the Emerald Entertainment dining hall, the one in the back left corner was considered to be Apollo’s.
Eunjae had no memory of how this table became their designated spot. Shoved right up against a window facing the building next door, it didn't offer much of a scenic view. Proximity to that window also meant sweltering through their meals in summer, then shivering side by side in winter. And they could've picked any other place to sit, but somehow they always ended up here. It was arguably the worst corner of the dining hall, but it was their corner.
Not for much longer, though. They’d finished almost all of their remaining contractual obligations. The members of Apollo had signed a provisional agreement with Emerald that would be in effect until the end of November, but most of the group — including Eunjae— had nothing more on the schedule afterthis weekend’s performance. As soon as that was done, he’d be heading back to California with Denny.
Eunjae found it difficult to imaginenotliving here. Was it really happening? Would he really be allowed to go?
