4
Jiyeonreturnedafewminutes later. Lagging behind despite telling himself three times that he needed to go, Eunjae was still sitting at his table, cradling the empty water glass. He didn’t intend to eavesdrop. Jeannie made it too easy, though. There was a quality to her voice that recalled his three younger brothers: earnest, plaintive, a little whiny. Like a radio frequency signaling, “Pay attention to me.”
“I’ve really missed you,” Jeannie pouted at Jiyeon, unwrapping a piece of candy and popping it into her mouth. “I was glad you moved back, but you’re only here in the mornings while I’m in class and I get stuck with Denny-boss from like, sunup to sundown. And he says TikTok is a scourge on humanity or whatever, so he won’t let me use it while I’m here. Not even when it’s super slow in the afternoons.”
Jiyeon laughed. “Jeannie, your shift is six hours long. That’s more like afternoon to sundown.”
“But it feels like forever. And one time, I was going on a date right after work, and Denny scared the bejesus out of that guy! He was like, ‘WHAT IS YOUR DRIVING RECORD, YOUNG MAN.’ And he waved some tongs at him! And I’ll die alone now! And I don’t get why this keeps happening to me!”
“Our Woosung. I’ll yell at him next time, just call me.”
Jeannie crunched down on the candy, her long, braided ponytail swinging like a pendulum as she bustled around behind the counter. “Hey, Mom and Auntie Clary want to know if you’ve got anything available soon. Graduation’s in two weeks.”
“Gosh,” sighed Jiyeon. “When did you and Evan get so old? And they want to come in at the same time, don’t they? I’ll see what I’ve got.” She grabbed a pen from a cup perched next to the gong and scrawled a reminder on the back of her left hand.
“Speaking of graduation, I want my hair like how you did Riley’s, okay? You know, with the bun. And the twirly bits.”
“The twirly bits.”
“I found the post again and took a screenshot,” Jeannie said. “I’m glad you never deleted any of those. I was really worried that you would.”
“Hmm.” Jiyeon lifted a stack of receipts waiting on the counter, tucking them into an envelope. “I’ll be right over there if you need help with the register.”
“Don’t tell Denny if I mess it up. He’ll make me another infographic. Or an instruction manual.”
“He won’t hear anything from me,” Jiyeon assured her. Then she went around checking on the remaining customers, stopping to chat for a little while at every table.
Eunjae finally finished his second waffle. He wondered why the ladies wanted to know Jiyeon’s availability, and what the Arthur Hong Betrayal had entailed. Who was Arthur Hong? Why was it a Betrayal, capital B? And he had other questions as well, all of them orbiting in the general Wanna Waffle galaxy, but then he got a look at the time. Waffle Wednesday was over, yes, and so was Eunjae’s stint as an aimless private citizen.
The others had probably made it back to the hotel without him. They’d all be concerned about where he’d gone on his own.
As a rule, Eunjae and his brothers weren’t allowed to go anywhere on their own — not truly alone, not without at least one manager or someone from security hovering on the periphery — even now, nine years after their debut. They still went sightseeing in groups, ate together, shopped together. All but one member of Apollo lived in the Emerald Entertainment dorms, no more than a quick trip in the elevator or down the hall at any given time. Jungwoo and Max might be in the car already, waiting, and Eunjae was sitting here gawking at the clock on the wall. He had to get going.
It pained him to think of rushing right through that orange door without offering it the reverence it deserved. It had indeed led him into another world, a remnant of something magical. The people were warm, in this place. They argued and laughed and fed everyone who walked in. Since they hadn’t guessed who he was, Eunjae had been free to pretend he belonged with them, just for a short while. It was a comfort he’d desperately needed.
Eunjae knew he had to go. The spell was sure to break soon and he didn’t think he could bear to watch it happening. He also knew that he had a plane to catch. It was long past time to get moving, to start making tracks back to his actual existence, but it was hard to do it. And once he forced himself to cross that threshold, Eunjae would sag once more beneath the mantle of his other self.
When did it become so heavy, to keep being that person? Why couldn’t Eunjae be stronger, more resilient?
“Ryan.” He almost dropped his fork in surprise. It was Jiyeon, pausing at his table with the pitcher full of water and a questioning look on her face. She pointed to his drink. “Want a refill? Maybe one more waffle for the road?”
He held out the glass. She filled it to the brim, ice cubes clinking. The bonus waffle was tempting, but between himself, Jungwoo, and Max, Eunjae would need to bring about twenty more, so he turned it down. Still, Jiyeon smiled at him so warmly that he felt bold enough to ask at least one of the questions running through his mind.
“You said that you go by Emma or Jiyeon depending on who you’re talking to, or where you are.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Which name do you use when it’s just you, and no one else is around?”
Jiyeon set the pitcher down, fingers still wrapped around the handle. “Hmm.”
“Sorry,” Eunjae rushed to say. “Weird question.”
“Oh, no. Not weird. Interesting. I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that one before.”
“Don’t feel like you have to answer. I just wondered.”
“I’ve never thought about it much, until now. But I suppose when it’s just me, in my own head, it’s Jiyeon. Emma’s more like… a sweater I can take off. And when I need it again, I put it back on. Make sense?”
