Chapter 20
Dirk
Her hair is fragrantas she lets me hold her. Lucy Beston. My neighbor. Even in this dark corner, her diamonds sparkle in the dim light.
What have I done? I don’t need another dependent. I’m finally doing alright; escaped the never-ending needs of too many patients in my family practice; got out of the home Millie worshipped, and all its demands. My housekeeper cooks my dinners. I see my old friends and children regularly. I have a new life.
Lucy is silent and her head becomes heavier. She has fallen asleep beside me. I sip my wine and think of how brittle she is; how all the chirpy talk about joy, the fun with hairstyles and makeup and elegant clothes is a mere facade. Beneath it all, Lucy Beston is as vulnerable as we all are, deep inside, and I smile. Humans. We’re all just humans: Fantastic, complicated, treacherous, loving, lashing out, creative, stubborn humans. I shake my head and sip more wine, and swirl the many flavors around my tongue – bitter, sweet, metallic, musky, fruity, mellow, sharp.
Beside me, fast asleep, Lucy is vulnerable. I must be more careful. I hope I haven’t led her on. There’s nothing date-like about this, is there? We’d both walked miles. We were ready for a rest. That’s all this is. A brief rest on a friendly, neighborhood walk.
She murmurs in her sleep. Is she faking it? She’s smart. Jill is right, I should be on my guard.
I’m new to this, being single.
Lucy moves her head, then wakes and stiffens. She moves away from me, embarrassed.
“Oh no! Did I fall asleep? On you, Dirk? I’m so embarrassed! Did I drool?” She retreats to her side of the table. “Can I order us pizza or something? Or more wine?”
“I think I’ll walk home now, Lucy.”
“Of course.” She wraps her scarf back around her neck, and at the door, I hold out her coat for her.
“Such a gentleman, Dirk. I’m really sorry I fell asleep on you. That’s terrible.”
“Relax,” I say. “Sorry to be such boring company.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Dirk. It was just such a weight off my mind, to talk about, you know, my ... daughter.”
I’m on my guard. Maybe it’s all an act. Jill says the diamonds should be a warning to me; that Lucy has targeted me and if I let her under my skin she’ll get a bull’s eye – “a sweet and unsuspecting widower” is what Jill calls me.
Just then, Lucy’s chin wobbles. Can she fake tears that well? She pushes a fingertip to her eyes and blinks.
“I’m so sorry, Dirk. I hate this vulnerability, the treachery of my emotions, cracking me wide open, letting out my grief for all the world to see. Does this pain ever go away?”
“It’s okay,” I say.
She’s silent as we walk home. I let her slide her hand under my arm. It’s companionable. There’s nothing seductive about it. Jill doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and I’m no fool. Lucy lets go of me as we approach Brighton Court. At her door, she turns to me.
“I really can’t thank you enough, Dirk.” This Lucy is serious. She tries to smile, reaches up to cup my forearms in her gloved hands and squeezes. “I owe you. Brownies?”
“I thought you said you’d get me fit if we walked together. Brownies will cancel it out.”
“Healthy brownies, then. Did you know you can make them with avocado? And beetroot. You can! I like baking. Give them to your children if you don’t want them.”
“Okay. Good night.” My smile costs nothing. It’s neighborly, nothing more.
