‘Any observations so far?’ Clare asked after about fifteen minutes of spying from a discreet distance.
‘He never approaches women. He seems more comfortable when it’s just the lads.’
‘Worth stalking?’
‘I think so.’
We followed the stag party to the next pub.
‘So, what’s the plan here?’ Clare asked.
‘Another drink? I need a bit of Dutch courage before I speak to him.’
‘You’d better not be bottling it.’
‘I’m here, aren’t I?’
‘I can’t believe it’s the third pub,’ Clare said half an hour later, ‘and you haven’t made the slightest move. I’d forgotten how crap you are at all of this.’
She was right. I could probably fill a billboard poster with a list of all my failed flirting attempts over the years. ‘I’m going to screw this up, aren’t I? Help.’
‘I think you need the charm of the Irish. Let the professionals do the work.’
Standing awkwardly on my own against a mirrored pillar, clutching my empty glass and wishing I didn’t look so conspicuous, I watched Clare approach Steve Dennison and say something in his ear. He looked surprised and turned in my direction. He shook his head and said something to Clare.Oh God, he doesn’t like the look of me. I want to leave. Right now.
There was another exchange of words, Steve looked across again, shook his head once more and shrugged. Clare said something else, they both laughed, then she returned to me.
‘It can’t be good or you’d have shouted me over,’ I said.
‘Well, I pointed you out?—’
‘And he thought I was ugly? Or fat? Or both?’
‘Don’t interrupt and of course he didn’t think you were ugly or fat. You’re gorgeous and you’ve lost weight since you moved here, not that you were fat before.’ She looked at me sternly. ‘You have to stop putting yourself down.’
I shrugged. ‘What did he say?’
‘He thought you looked lovely.’
‘But?’
‘But he met someone else online. They met up on Tuesday and he’s meeting her in the next pub. He says he’s really sorry but he assumed you weren’t interested when you didn’t message him back.’
‘Did you explain that I’d only just picked up his message?’
‘Yes, but he seems keen on this other girl.’
‘You’re the PR expert. Couldn’t you have come up with something?’
‘Like what? I wasn’t going to beg him to date you.’
Fair point. ‘What were you laughing at?’
‘I made some daft comment about his costume which tickled him.’
‘You were flirting with him?’
Clare grabbed her drink and took a swig. ‘I know you’re upset so I’ll ignore the implication.’
