Jamison Duschene:You’re too nice to pretend I never met you. I had to recruit you to my side so I’d always have your little apologies waiting around for me when I needed them.
Me:My little apologies?
Jamison Duschene:Yeah, you know, you’re always apologizing any time you feel like you talk too much or get too serious.
I was? I did?
Me:Sorry, I didn’t realize I did that.
Jamison Duschene:Lol.
What was he…oh.
Me:*facepalm*
Jamison Duschene:You’re adorable. And adorkable.
Me:Hmph. I’m big and scary. I’m a bear. Rawr.
Jamison Duschene:You’re ateddybear. Meep. Or whatever noise teddy bears make.
Me:I don’t think teddy bears make noise. Mostly because they’re inanimate stuffed animals.
Jamison Duschene:Picky, picky. Just because they’re not real doesn’t mean they aren’t real.
Me:I have no idea what that even means.
Jamison Duschene:Imagination, my friend. The teddy bears live in our imaginations. Or, in your case, in the woods.
Me:Oh lord, not you too. I live in thesuburbs, ffs. I have neighbors and I can order delivery. Neither of those would be true if I actually lived in the woods.
Jamison Duschene:Me too? Who else is teasing you about your lumbersexual lifestyle?
Me:My lumber…no. Nope. And my friend Jamal is always teasing me about where I live. I’ve mentioned this to you, I think. I think that’s actually how you know I live in the woods.
Jamison Duschene:Aha! You admit it!
Me:What? I didn’t…oh, fuck you. Now you’ve got me saying it. I don’t live in the woods!
Jamison Duschene:Mmhmmm.
Me:I have a table sitting here calling my name, why am I even talking to someone who’s making fun of me.
Jamison Duschene:Hey I’m not making fun of you! Um, much. It’s done with affection, at least.
Jamison Duschene:More seriously for a second, thank you for getting me out of my head and making me laugh. Charlie was on my last nerve and if you hadn’t been here to bitch to I probably would have lost my shit at her, and that never ends well for me.
Me:Your sister’s name is Charlie?
Jamison Duschene:Yep. Short for Charlotte, but she says that takes too long to say, so Charlie she became. I call her Charlie Manson when she pisses me off.
Me:Oof, serial killer reference, I bet she loves that.
Jamison Duschene:Ooh, I’m impressed you got that. A lot of people don’t.
Me:Hey, I have Netflix and a fascination with true crime, the same as any millennial worth their salt. And Charles Manson was a big name.
Curiejumped into my lap and started kneading my thighs, startling me a little. I scratched her ears with my free hand as her solid body weight pressed into me. “You’re getting chubby,” I told her, “you know that? We may have to reconsider the free-feeding thing after your next vet visit.”
