Meredith sighed. “Is she youractualgirlfriend? Have you two talked at all about if you’re on the same page?”
The expression on my face must have been telling because she said. “Well, buddy. I guess you should start there.” Meredith poked her salad with her fork and chuckled. “For the last fifteen years, you’ve actively avoided having this exact conversation with whoever you’re sleeping with, and now you’re the one sitting here, hearts in your eyes and butterflies in your stomach, wondering if Kit is in love with you.”
Meredith patted me on the back. “Time to find out if this is limerence or love.”
“Limerence?”
“You know? Sort of like an infatuation, a serious crush,” Meredith explained between bites of salad. She thoughtfully waved her fork. “Clearly this is more than just lust for you. Someone as ruggedly handsome as you can get laid anytime.”
I took a bite of salad. Did Meredith have a point? I had never felt this way about anyone, but truthfully, I didn’t know what it meant to be infatuated or in love. How would I tell the difference?
Meredith must have noticed that I was worried because she said, “Look, normally, I’d say give it some time and just let it work itself out, but since your career is tied up in the outcome of this land sale, I feel like you need a clearer picture of where things are between you and Kit. It seems like you’re pretty into it, but what about Kit? Has she ever been in love before? Is she the kind of person who would try to use her lady charms to manipulate you into giving her a better deal on the land?”
“Definitely not that kind of person,” I said quickly and maybe a little too defensively. “But you’re right, I do need to figure things out.”
“Well, then I recommend doing something outside your normal routine. You’re practically living together already. Do something besides playing house and having sex. Go on a trip. See Kit somewhere beside Creekstone. See how you feel about her then. See how she responds when you show or tell her how you’re feeling.” Meredith took a bite of salad.
“That’s good advice,” I acknowledged.
“I know,” Meredith said as she looked down at her bowl and stirred the greens and steak. “This salad is really fucking good. You were right about that at least.”
After we left The Pub, Meredith and I had back-to-back meetings with the city council and business owners. When we finished, I invited Meredith to stay for dinner, but she said she had to get back to the city because Addison was waiting for her.
I had taken what Meredith said to heart. Part of me felt like if something isn’t broken, why fix it, but I also knew I needed more clarity. I’d been planning something special for Kit in Atlanta. Maybe I needed to move it up a little to get a better idea of where Kit’s head was at.
I knew she was closing the library that day, so I met her there. She told me she had a few pieces of equipment to lock up and asked me to wait in her office. I sat in the chair by herdesk. The office was small. There was barely enough room for a desk, two chairs, and a couple of filing cabinets and shelves. The mismatched furniture reminded me of library furniture from the late 1990s because of the mauve and beige colorway.
I noticed a letter on Kit’s desk. It was addressed to her. I noticed an official seal from Harvard at the top of the letter, but I didn’t get time to read it before Kit returned. She slid between me and her desk. Kit looked great that day. She was wearing a form-fitting button-down shirt and a pencil skirt. Her hair was pulled back into a bun. I stood up and kissed Kit. She took a step back, and I lifted her so that she sat on the edge of her desk. She pulled away from the kiss and whispered, “Library is all locked up.”
"I wanted to ask you about something on your desk,” I said, pulling back a bit.
“Is it this?” She asked between kisses as she slid my hands around her waist to her ass, which I gave a playful squeeze. When I didn’t kiss her, Kit frowned.
“I love this,” I said kissing Kit’s forehead and squeezing her again, “But actually, I was wondering about that letter from Harvard that your cute ass is sitting on right now.”
Kit’s sly smile returned. “Are you reading my mail?”
“I suppose I would have if you weren’t sitting on it,” I admitted. Kit laughed and rolled all her weight to one leg. She pulled the paper out from under her and held it up.
“It’s just the annual letter they send telling me I have remaining fellowship dollars and asking if I’d like to complete my fellowship,” Kit said with a shrug. "I just have to write a letter back letting them know if I’d like to defer for another year.”
Kit handed me the paper. I looked at it. I asked, trying to understand, “You’re a student at Harvard?”
“Well, kind of. I had a graduate fellowship to do archives work through a national library foundation. It was interruptedwhen I took a sabbatical to come home and take care of my mom. Last year, I asked for an additional extension because our library didn’t have another staff member to take over if I left, so they’re wondering if I want to complete the fellowship during the fall semester.”
“What are you thinking of doing?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I’d have to give it some thought,” Kit shrugged. She leaned back and rested her palms against her desk. “I guess Trent could step up and fill in for me while I was out.”
"That’s so impressive.” I tried to sound neutral about the idea of Kit moving back to Washington D.C. “Would you stay in D.C., or would you move back to Georgia when you are done?”
Kit shrugged. “I don’t know. These fellowships often turn into long term positions, but I haven’t given it much thought.”
I wanted to probe more but Kit was being so evasive. I didn’t want to press her about the future, so I pivoted to something more present, “What are you up to this weekend?”
Kit turned her head to the side and said, “No plans. What about you?”
“I have a big meeting in Atlanta next Monday, and I was thinking we could head down together and spend the weekend there, then maybe come back on Monday together. I’d have to do a little work on Friday to prepare for Monday’s meeting but otherwise we could explore the city together.”
