It was now or never. If I could help, I’d be able to look myself in the mirror.
Before returning to my real life and not one filled with fantasies.
CHAPTER 30
Christian
A sleepless night.
I’d paced the floors, thinking about what Carson had told me. He was much more intuitive than I’d given him credit for. All the years wasted would continue to haunt me. I didn’t know if I felt relief or just more guilt from actively blaming him for all these years.
Such a fucking waste.
I jogged toward the door, pushing my way inside and heading toward the elevator. The funny thing was that even after the last tumultuous week, I felt lighter than I had in a very long time.
Was it relief of some guilt or finally being able to face the man inside? I didn’t know and maybe never would, but I knew what I was about to do was the right thing.
One way or the other, it was time I lived my life on my terms.
I found myself whistling inside the elevator, smiling at those who entered. This wasn’t about happiness, but doing something that I should have done a long time ago.
As soon as I stepped off into the corridor leading to the office, I fixed my tie like Vanessa had done for me so many times before. I should look the part of a corporate mogul. Right?
With long strides, I headed into the office, waving at the receptionist who seemed shocked that I’d arrived at the office. I guess news traveled fast.
I headed to my father’s office. Of course he’d come in early since the company was facing what would be called a crisis. Michael had called, telling me that my father was pissed and that was fine by me. Heather smiled as I approached, but I could see the same look of concern in her eyes as when I’d been here before. My father was in a shitty mood.
When I was standing outside his door, I could hear voices. With a smile on my face, I headed inside without knocking.
Michael and another member of the board were inside, only my friend was not surprised that I’d made an unannounced appearance.
“Hello, Dad. Michael. William. How is everyone on this gorgeous day?”
“What the fuck is going on, son?” My father should know better than to jump me immediately. I didn’t take kindly to being accosted first thing.
I moved closer, planting my hands on his desk and leaning over. “I know what you’re going to say. I shouldn’t have allowed my emotions to get involved. I should have kept Vanessa on a leashand if I know you, if you’d known ahead of time her brother was having a substance problem, you would have called her damaged goods even with her father being Jonathan Blair. Right?”
He didn’t say anything, but when he opened his mouth, I waved my hand.
“Save it, Dad. I know you too well. You love to manipulate everyone including me. I bought it for my entire life thinking this company was all I wanted. Then I got control of it, changing some things about our operations, which I’m proud of. Nothing mattered to you. Not even your daughter. Caroline has been dead for over ten years, but you haven’t mentioned her name in at least nine of them. Were you embarrassed by her? Is that why you never gave Carson the time of day?”
“Let me speak, son.”
“Nope. I’ve heard enough. This needs to be said and should have been years ago. Vanessa is far too good for me. She’s an amazing human being and much like you, her father ignored or denied his son’s issues. That put the burden on her. I treated Carson as if he was the problem when he needed my understanding and support. I didn’t give it to him. I’ll carry that with me for the rest of my life, but I won’t allow you or anyone else to destroy Vanessa. I know Lopez had decided to go with Blair. While I think he won’t be happy, I honestly don’t care.”
When I laughed, my father finally narrowed his eyes into the old familiar anger I’d seen so many times.
“And get this. I really don’t. So, I know what you’re going to tell me, Dad. That I’m a failure and you’re disappointed in me, but as I said before, I don’t care. But let me save you some trouble. You and the board of directors don’t need to fire me. I quit.” Ilaughed again and felt more relief than I had in years. Maybe my life. “Isn’t that fabulous? I quit.” I turned around, winking at Michael.
“Christian,” my father called.
I waved him off, heading out the door.
Michael trailed behind me. “Congratulations, but you need to hear something.”
“I’m a little busy, my friend. Now I need to figure out how to get Vanessa back.” I continued walking.
“Lopez decided to come back to our firm.”
