“I can do anything I want.” She patted my chest. Dressed in jeans, a tee shirt, and tennis shoes with her hair in a ponytail, she appeared her age.
Which reminded me once again I really was too old for her.
But so what?
“Within reason.” She was right. The sooner the contract was signed, the sooner I could finalize the land deal and set everything in motion. Then I could move onto the next overseas pain in my ass.
Since my comment on the boat, we hadn’t talked about the contract we’d signed, although she had been in the room when I’d instructed Michael to make alterations. He’d choked and accused me of falling in love.
I’d laughed.
And denied.
But he wasn’t wrong.
“Seriously, all I’m doing is grabbing what I know are his favorite items. There’s a moving company coming in a couple days to take a few things to a storage facility I managed to arrange over the weekend. The rest is going to the dump. Then I clean the apartment and stop paying the rent. Simple. I’ll be there three or four hours tops. But tomorrow I need to get back to the office. The phone is ringing off the hook.”
“Understood, but we will need to discuss our wedding.”
As I’d done one too many times, I’d surprised her. “Yes, I guess we will. Tonight then.”
I could tell she was apprehensive about going to her brother’s apartment, which was why I’d offered to go with her even though I’d sensed she was determined to handle this alone.
She headed to the door, stopping just inside the doorway. The same awkwardness we’d both felt at the beginning lingered in the air.
“Nothing splashy,” she said while tugging an imaginary hair behind her ear. Exposing her nervousness.
Highlighting her ring.
Suddenly, I loathed the fakeness about our relationship. “Nothing splashy. I promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
I chuckled, my cock twitching the moment she regrouped, blowing me a kiss. After she’d left, I stood by the window staring at the pool for at least ten minutes.
Turning my head, I stared at my phone, which I’d dumped on the surface of the desk. I’d thought about calling Carson several times over the weekend, but hadn’t begun to know what to say. Seeing the roses on Caroline’s gravesite had been as unnerving as taking Vanessa. I hadn’t brought flowers in at least two months.
Avoiding the pain.
The guilt.
Now it continued to haunt me. Vanessa was right about forgiveness, only until my brother and I came to an understanding, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.
With deliberate steps, I moved toward the desk, hesitating before grabbing my phone. After a deep breath, I dialed his number.
Voicemail.
“Hey, dudes. Leave me a good one and maybe I’ll call you back.”
I rolled my eyes. He’d become a comedian, but I knew better. The man was hiding behind the pain. Only I’d been too arrogant to give a shit. “Carson. We need to talk. Give me a call.”
Whether or not he’d return the call was all up to him. A part of me wanted to say I’d done my job in making an attempt, walking away feeling self-righteous. With Carson, it had been so easy to do for so long, and old habits were hard to break.
But for some reason, I felt as if I owed Vanessa an act of good will.
Hell, I wasn’t entirely certain any longer what doing the right thing even meant.
I aimlessly rubbed my fingers across the phone, noticing the time before the screen faded to black. I had time to kill before the meeting and in truth, the last place I wanted to be was at the office.
