Unable to work through such concerns adequately, Alannah allowed one, tentative question to slip out. “Do you ever feel that Conan acts…oddly?”
Emer set down the last dishes on the table in the kitchen, turning her full attention on Alannah. “Do you like him?”
A rush of warmth bloomed in Alannah’s chest in spite of her myriad concerns over him. “I do,” she sighed. “That’s the problem.”
“Aye,” Emer agreed too quickly. “It is. You don’t trust yourself after Oran. You’ve not let yourself get close to a man since, and honestly I don’t blame you.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Alannah challenged.
“I did, though. I think that it doesn’t matter what Conan does, odd or otherwise, because you’re in desperate search of a reason not to let your heart back into the open.” Emer’s features softened. “Where it can be broken.”
Alannah tsked. “That’s ridiculous. I never loved Oran. I saw him for what he was as soon as we spent any length of time together.”
“I never said you loved him,” Emer broke into a maddeningly satisfied grin. “But I think you just did.”
Alannah groaned, falling onto the nearest bench. “You’re no help at all.”
If possible, she’d only made matters worse.
Emer walked over, grabbing her hands and giving them a squeeze. “Stop looking for problems. Conan is a kind man. He and his friends have done nothing but help us since they arrived. Let yourself have this.”
Before Alannah could process her sister’s words, let alone decide how she felt about them, the man in question stepped in the front door. Dallan followed right behind him, and neither man looked like he’d just gone for a run.
Conan’s dark brows furrowed the moment he laid eyes on her. “What’s wrong?”
Her heart hammered in her chest, her pulse rising with each step he took toward her. So many things. The way he made her feel. The way she wanted so badly to trust him yet somehow could not. The way he was looking at her now.
Instead, she settled on the easiest answer. “They’re not back.”
“Your brothers?”
She nodded, rising from the bench.
His lips tugged together thoughtfully. “Let’s go find out why.”
“Really? Don’t you need to train?”
“Not as much as you need to know where your brothers are.”
Emer shot her a pointed look before turning to Conan. “Are you sure you have to leave? I like having you around.”
Conan tossed her a soft smile. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay. But I can help you while I’m here.”
Yet another reason to keep her heart guarded—or what remained of it. Conan clearly wasn’t feeling as strongly about her, even if he’d taken her to bed again. He couldn’t be if he was still so determined to leave. Alannah grabbed her cloak and drained the last of her drink, savoring the sweet drops of honey that fell from the bottom of the mug. She wasn’t about to waste this opportunity worrying over the implications of her conversation with Emer.
She rounded on Conan. “I have an idea.”
Instead of heading into town, Alannah took Conan farther west.
Toward their farm.
Or, rather, the home that used to be their farm. It had been so hard to live there the first year after their parents passed. Everything reminded her of the life they’d had together. The only thing that kept her going was the knowledge that her sisterand brothers were counting on her. She had to be strong for them, especially Emer.
Leaving had been almost as hard as staying. She hadn’t gone back since.
Conan walked beside her on a path she knew with her eyes closed. Fields of tiny green plants lined either side of the narrow road. In a few months, they would grow into a sea of barley.
“Out of curiosity,” he began when the cottage came in sight at the path’s end.
