“What are you thinking?” Her hands gripped his léine, pulling him so close that he could feel her against him.
“I was thinking that you make me want things I cannot have.”
It was strange to feel such hesitation to kiss a woman he’d already bedded. But when they’d shared that first night, it had been purely for the joy of it. Now, as he debated how she might react to a simple kiss, Conan understood how deeply their relationship had changed since then.
Bedding her had been fun.
But kissing her would change everything.
Her gaze fell to his lips, and Conan seized the opening. He moved slow this time, giving her plenty of opportunity to stop him.
She didn’t.
His lips brushed hers tenderly, a whispered caress. He felt a connection forming between them, as though they were tied to opposite ends of the same rope, pulled ever closer.
Her fingers wove through his hair, her mouth parting as she kissed him right back.
Heat flooded Conan’s body, a familiar hunger rising from deep within. He should stop. He knew he should cease this madness. Instead, he ran his hand down her shoulder, sliding over her breast to land on her waist. He dreamed of this body every night. He craved it every day.
Just as he was contemplating sneaking off into the trees with her, Alannah pulled back. “I can’t,” she whispered. “Just one night, remember?”
Conan released a shaky exhale. She was right. He was in the middle of sabotaging her only source of income. And even if he wasn’t, his loyalties lay with Brian and the Fianna, his home in Cenn Cora. He’d be leaving far too soon to let this continue. “Just one night.”
And one kiss.
Chapter Nineteen
Two days later,Conan and Alannah walked up the worn path to The Hart’s Rest. Alannah couldn’t decide if she were grateful or disappointed that Conan hadn’t tried any sort of intimacy after that kiss. On the one hand, she felt as though a current pushed her ever towards him, demanding that she give into her growing feelings for him. On the other, however, Alannah knew full well that there could be nothing between them except however many nights they shared together before he left. And, more and more, it was the leaving that was the problem. For the longer he stayed and the more moments they passed together, the more Alannah realized that this man could break her heart if she let him.
They arrived during the evening meal. Alannah threw open the doors, which felt smaller after having visited the splendid Rath Cruachan, to find all the comforts of home. Emer ferried platters laden with food among the six tables, stuffed to bursting with diners. Finn and Ardál played a soft tune. Illadan and Dallan stood by either door, keeping watch as Alannah had requested. Illadan was the closest and Alannah walked straight to him, determined to defend Conan.
When they approached, Illadan glared at Conan, his dark countenance promising a serious discussion. “You have some explaining to do.”
“He does not,” Alannah positioned herself between the two giants. “I would have been killed had he not disobeyed you, soI will thank you for use of your man and ask that he not be punished for saving my life.”
“I caught up to her when she’d just left Cruachan Aí,” Conan explained. “I found her just in time to accompany her on the journey back.”
Illadan’s features relaxed. “I see,” he drawled, still glaring at Conan. “Perhaps your punishment can be mitigated, then.”
“What will you have him do?” Alannah had hoped to erase any censure entirely, but lessening it would have to suffice.
“He’ll be saving you the trouble of minding the horse stalls until we leave,” Illadan declared. “But should he choose to continue disobeying direct orders, I’m afraid I’ll have no choice but to punish him accordingly.”
“He won’t,” Alannah hurried, answering on Conan’s behalf. It was her own fault he’d come so close to such a punishment, and she’d not be the reason he fell out of favor with Illadan.
She still found it odd how military they seemed to be for a group of bards, but she supposed if they’d all trained for years and served together, it was easier to maintain old habits than grow too lax.
Illadan nodded, still frowning. “How did your journey go? Did you speak with the king?”
“He wasn’t in Cruachan Aí, but I spoke with his son, Teague. He was very kind and understanding, and he promised to bring men here and investigate the fire.”
“He’s coming here himself?”
Alannah couldn’t suppress a smile. “Aye, he said he wanted to survey the damage and order repairs. He even let me stay in the rath overnight.”
Illadan didn’t look nearly as happy as she’d expected for such good news. “Excellent,” he muttered.
*
