He stepped towards her, his wide shoulders filling the doorway. “You’re jealous.”
“What would give you such a notion?” She crossed her arms in an effort to disguise her discomfort.
“I saw the look on your face at dinner.” His voice, normally honey-smooth, came out low and rough. “I know it well. It’s the same one I wear when I watch Sitric put his hands on you.”
Cara couldn’t breathe. He stepped even closer, so near that she could feel the heat radiating from his body, could smell the intoxicating scent that made her want to lean into him.
“I’m here to marry Sitric,” Cara whispered.
Diarmid’s throat bobbed. “Aye, you are. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
She forced herself to take a deep, shaky breath. “Why are you telling me this?” she asked.
“When I thought it was just me, that going so many days without a woman to warm my bed was creating this desire for you, it was challenging. But knowing that you desire me also, that’s dangerous.”
“I don’t desire you,” Cara retorted, too quickly to convince even herself.
“No?” He stepped fully into her room, shutting her door behind him. His powerful arms rose up on both sides of her, pinning her against it. “So you don’t want me to kiss those pouty lips of yours, to taste you until you melt into my arms? To lay you down on that bed and let my fingers, my mouth, pleasure you until the only name you can remember is mine?”
He had won. Whatever game they were playing, Cara could hardly remain standing, let alone form a coherent thought after that vivid picture he’d painted in her mind. Forget the butterflies, her body was filled with fire, an aching inferno that wanted Diarmid to do every single one of those things.
“Ah,” he purred, finally tossing her the wickedest grin she’d seen yet. “So youcanblush, princess.”
She saw now how he’d become the rogue of the group. “In my limited experience, none of those things are particularly pleasurable.” Though he’d certainly made them sound that way, Cara knew better. She’d only shared her bed with Torna once, and that had been enough for her to learn that lovemaking was something to be endured at best.
“As I said before, whoever he is, he deserves a sound thrashing.”
Cara couldn’t agree more.
“So,” he continued, “are you still going to deny that you were jealous? Or shall I keep going?”
“Fine!” Cara hissed. “Perhaps, I did not like watching you make eyes at that woman and smile at her. Happy?”
“Do you know why I went after her in the first place?”
“Because your lust is insatiable and your roguishness knows no bounds?”
“Because every morning when I wake, I wonder when I will get to see you that day. Because every time I do see you, it takes every measure of will that I possess to keep my hands off you. Because every night when I lay awake in bed, I imagine how you would look lying naked beside me. And I thought that maybe, just maybe, taking another woman to my bed would rid me of this infernal desire for you.”
Cara’s mouth had gone completely dry, her cheeks burning. “And did it?” She didn’t want to hear about it, but she couldn’t continue wondering.
“I wouldn’t know,” he answered. “When I should have invited her back to my room, I couldn’t do it. All I could think of was that look on your face, and how I would feel knowing you’d bedded Sitric.”
She couldn’t take much more of this conversation. It was tearing her apart in ways she hadn’t imagined were possible. “I don’t want to bed Sitric,” she admitted, hardly able to believe she was speaking such intimate thoughts aloud. “Every time he touches me, I endure it by imagining it’s you.”
His hand left the wall beside her, moving slowly toward her face. She didn’t flinch as his rough fingers brushed her cheek, the muscles in his jaw going taut as a bowstring. Her eyes went to his lips, wondering for the first time how they would feel pressed against her own. When his hand cradled the side of her face, she leaned into his tender touch, his thumb caressing her. Cara told herself it was only because she’d been working with him, deliberately growing accustomed to his touch, that she now craved it.
But even as his gaze fell to her mouth, his eyes clouding with desire, Cara knew it was not so simple as that. In the same moment she thought he would finally kiss her, his hand slipped from her face and he took a step back.
“I cannot be the reason this alliance fails.” His voice broke as he said the words. “I came here to tell you that I can’t meet with you anymore, and I felt you deserved the truth of it.”
She knew he was right. This was the responsible decision, creating distance so he didn’t jeopardize all they worked towards.
Yet, for the first time since Torna, Cara found she didn’t want to be responsible.
She wanted Diarmid.
Chapter Nineteen
