Chapter 1
Cowards vs. Villains
Clayton
With a sigh, I park my car and send off a group text to Madison and Donny, letting them know I’m here. The carnival is in town, and rather than celebrating graduation night at the water park, like we’d planned, my friends decided to ditch it and go to the pop-up carnival instead.
Senior year was nothing like I’d anticipated, and neither was my whole high school experience, for that matter. But tonight was supposed to be the night I changed everything. Tonight was supposed to be the night I grew some damn balls and apologized.
But how the hell am I supposed to say sorry to him when he is at the water park and I’m here at this stupid carnival?
Madison: By the entrance near the rides.
Clayton: I’ll hang out for an hour, tops. Then I’m heading over to the water park before they close the gates. I have several friends I want to say goodbye to before we head off to college.
Donny: Don’t be a dick, man. We’re your only real friends. All the others are just posers. Don’t go to that lame park.
Madison: If you ditch the water park, I’ll give you a very special going-away gift. *Wink Emoji*
My stomach turns uncomfortably as I read her text and walk through the entrance. When the hell would she get a clue? I’m not into her. Period. Full stop. I’m not into girls in general, not that anyone knows that. But fuck, I’ve turned her down so many times, I lost count.
The scent of cotton candy and popcorn swirls in the air as I make my way through the park. The atmosphere around me isalive with people cheering and laughing against the backdrop of carnival music. It’s a warm night with a light breeze, and I can’t help but think it’s the perfect night to be at a fucking water park.
Would Lex be there already, enjoying the water slides or floating lazily on a tube in the Circle Lagoon? Images of him sitting shirtless in nothing but his swim trunks come to mind, and I’m curious about what he looks like. Would he be lean and defined? Or maybe soft in all the right places?
I shake my head and try to push the images of Lex out of my brain. He’s only sixteen, for fuck’s sake. I’m eighteen now, and I shouldn’t be thinking about someone two years younger than me. The kid is practically a genius, skipping grades and now graduating early. I’ll never forget how we met. He turned up at my house after Mom hired him to tutor me at the end of Junior year.
By then, Lex was well known at the school as thelittle-kid genius, and sure, he skipped a few grades, but he was only a year or two younger than the rest of us. I never understood the big deal until that moment I opened the door and spotted him for the first time. Thick curly hair and large brown eyes. Lex might have been fifteen to my seventeen, but he was very pretty, which gave him an air of innocence that probably made him look younger.
But either way, to me, he was breathtaking. Thoughts I’d keep hidden deep down because I would get so much shit from my friends and family if they knew. Seriously? Couldn’t I just be attracted to a girl my age?
A year later and I still can’t keep Lex off my mind. He tutored me for about a month, coming over almost every weeknight to study physics with me. My friends had no idea, and I never bothered to tell them, because I wanted to keep Lex all to myself. My little secret my jock friends wouldn’t taint. Until they did.
Turning the corner, I slam to a stop in front of the rides.
I swallow hard.
I’m a coward, frozen in place at the scene in front of me. Off to the left are my friends, Donny and Madison along with a group of three other seniors chatting to themselves. And to the right? Lex, aka Felix DeLuca, stands there bathed in the twinkling lights of the Ferris wheel, smiling as he gushes with his best friend, Chris, while munching on some bright pink cotton candy.
For a moment, I’m starstruck. Lex plucks a piece of cotton candy with his thumb and forefinger and places it on his tongue. I imagine the colorful sugar melting, and wonder if his lips would taste like cotton candy if I were to walk over there and kiss him.
“Aw, littleLex Luthor. Didn’t you get the memo?” Madison calls out to Lex with a calculating look on her face. “Only the popular kids were supposed to be here tonight.”
Disgust roils through me. How many times have I sat there frozen with shock while my friends picked on my secret crush? How many times did I witness the hurt on Lex’s face when Madison or Donny said something cruel for absolutely no reason?
Fuck. Tonight was supposed to be the night I said sorry, and here I am frozen. Again. Unable to open my fucking mouth. Why? Why can’t I just move? Take those dozen or so steps over to them and defend Lex, like he needs to be defended. The way he deserves to be defended. I never wanted to be a villain, yet isn’t that what I am? Those are my so-called friends; I should be able to tell them to lay off Lex and leave him alone.
It’s not like I’m going to stay friends with Donny or Madison once we all head off to different colleges.
I take a few steps forward, and the movement catches Lex’s eye. Can he see the disgust and anger on my face? Does he think it’s aimed at my friends, or does he assume this look is reserved for him?
Another step forward, and it’s clear I’m about to walk toward Lex. He shakes his head. It’s a move so subtle that anyone not laser-focused on him would miss it. I freeze.
Donny murmurs something, and just from his tone, I can tell it’s something hateful. I never understood bullies. I don’t think they hate him because Lex is gay. Maybe it’s because he’s younger? Smarter? Prettier? I have no idea.
Lex’s striking brown eyes meet mine, and he shakes his head again, brown curls bouncing on top of his head. Madison turns to see what Lex is looking at, and her eyes widen when she spots me standing there, fury all over my face. I’m an intimidating guy, all bulk and muscles from playing football. You’d think that ajock as tall as me would have no problem dealing with something as silly as fear.
Madison reaches out for Donny’s arm, but he violently shrugs her off. Despite that, she leans forward and whispers in his ear. Donny finally looks my way. Suddenly, a fake sweet smile crosses his face, and for a second, I’m confused. Until I hear my mother’s voice behind me.
