But when my fingers nervously reach for my neck, hovering just above the ink speckled with blood, I feel the pulse of life and the gift of the Fae that has flowed through us for generations. Now it marks my skin, and no one will take from me ever again.
I am the forest. I am the fury of the earth.
Chapter 36
The next days are the hardest of my life. No one, not even Daed, can offer me comfort. I feel lost. Adrift. The anger that burns white hot in the pit of my stomach won’t give me a moment’s respite.
Though I know their worries differ from mine, my Fae companions are just as restless. The Grove may be my home, but it is not theirs. It is too quiet. Too peaceful. They take no joy in listening to the forest or digging in the soil. They are beings of passion, fire, and smoke, and this place drains them just as Baev’kalath drained me.
The Fae cannot stay here. Daed cannot stay here. The Grove will wither them to nothing.
Daed has slept by my side every night, but I have not felt the heat of him inside me since the night before the battle, even though I know he longs for me. I can feel it in his touch and see it in the way his eyes roam over every curve of my body with silent need. But my heart still aches for my people, for Arax, and my body craves nothing. Not food. Not sleep. Not Daed.
Then there is the question that lingers on his lips. I can sense it, even if he doesn’t speak it.
Have you decided?
I have not. Do I love him? Yes, despite myself, despite being a person of sense and reason, I love him with a fierceness that could see me undone. But there cannot be love without trust. Surely that must be true, and where once I would have defended my dark prince fiercely, now I wonder if the man I lie next to would slit my throat in the night if Gygarth so willed it.
So no, I have not decided. To do so, I must choose what I value more: my life or my love.
I haven’t been able to drag myself from bed much, healing not only from my wounds but also from the deeper scars that keep my sadness ever-present. But this morning, I sit up, the sunlight streaming through the window, filling the room with warmth and illuminating the life bustling below in The Grove.
Daedalus and Zyphoro spend most of their time in the forest, forbidden to hunt the animals, so instead, they chase each other through the trees. It’s a dangerous game of hide and seek that often ends with one of them needing healing from my sisters. As of now, I believe the score is tied.
The sun blinds me as I open the door to seek them out, and I raise my hand to shield my eyes from its brightness. The birds sing sweetly in the air, and the distant sound of the waterfall creates a perfect harmony I will never tire of. Yet, I find myself yearning for another melody: the sound of rain on stone and thunder rolling over the ocean.
I grip the rope bridge as I cross, limping awkwardly down the stairs until I reach the forest floor. My name is on everyone’s lips, accompanied by bright smiles and well wishes. I smile back, waving and ensuring I greet each of them by name, letting them know how much I respect and care for each soul.
But inside, I feel hollow. There’s an emptiness within me that no amount of love or adoration can fill. Even I don’t know what could ease that ache.All of me aches.
I pass the vine wall and wander deeper into the forest, the soil beneath my feet and the sun warming my skin, slowly untangling the knots in my stomach. But that fleeting moment of peace shatters when a plume of smoke erupts before me, and Ashen leaps from the void. He roars, landing on me with a thud, his massive front paws pinning my shoulders hard against the ground. The impact knocks the wind out of me, leaving me gasping for air.
It wouldn’t hurt so much if he were still in his kitten form, but instead, he’s a massive lion again, his back adorned with flailing tentacles. He snarls inches from my face, hot breath washing over me, and I’m shocked to discover that smoke cats drool.
“Ashen!” I growl, wiping the thick, dark mucus from my eyes. “What are you doing?”
His roar cuts off abruptly as his head cocks back, his wild, full mane framing his startled face. He whimpers, immediately withdrawing and backpedaling a couple of steps before sitting on his hind legs, looking thoroughly chastened.
Pushing myself up on my elbows, I flick the saliva into the brush and meet his bright white eyes with an irritated glare. “Why are you so glum? I’m the one who got mauled and slobbered on!”
Suddenly, two more pops punctuate the air, and Daed and Zyphoro land almost silently beside me.
“Amara,” Daed says, concern etched across his face as he crouches down. “What happened?”
“What happened?” I grumble, lazily pointing in Ashen's direction, who continues to whimper, his eyes drooping and a trembling pout forming on his face. “He just appeared out of nowhere and tackled me to the ground!”
Zyphoro and Daed exchange knowing looks, both struggling to stifle their laughter.
“Apologies, Amara,” Zyphoro says, failing to hide her grin. “Daed and I were tiring of hunting each other, so we invited the kitty to join. He must have mistaken you for one of us.”
Ashen shrinks to his kitten form, his tentacles retreating into his fur. Daed helps me to my feet, a grin still lingering on his face as he dusts me off.
“I suppose that means he loses,” Daed says, glancing at me with a teasing smirk. “Isn’t that right, sister?”
Zyphoro nods playfully. “Only seems fair, brother. That leaves you and me tied at twenty-five while the fluffball languishes at zero.”
Ashen arches his back and hisses, grumpily padding away.
