CHAPTER 1
Mackenzie
Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin’?
The all-too-familiar sounds of classic Christmas music came pouring in through my earbuds as I walked down the snow-crusted sidewalk. Closing my eyes, I hummed along to the tune of “Walking In A Winter Wonderland.” Sad to say, this was probably as Christmassy as I’d get, but at least I wasn’t bah-humbugging it this year.
The holidays were supposed to be a time of joy and good cheer, blah-de-blah-blah, and here I was, spending Christmas alone. Again.
At thirty-six, I had my shit together, or at least I thought so. I owned my own house. I had zero debt. Not to mention, I was the owner of a lucrative landscaping business. That had to count for something, right?
Yet, another holiday season spent by myself.
And who’s fault is that?
My sister Marina had a family now. She’d gotten married to the kindest Alpha I’d ever met—the kind of guy that makes everyone else look like assholes in comparison—and they had two beautiful little boys. Identical twins, Jeremiah was the sweetand gooey one, where his brother Jonah was the rough-and-tumble sort. I adored them both.
While my nephews were my entire world, I yearned for a family of my own. I always had, and I thought I’d finally gotten it, once upon a time…right up until my ex-fiance ripped the rug out from beneath my feet. A fleeting moment of giddy hope, followed quickly by the fatal blow—I was sterile.
There would be no bustling family Christmases; no ruddy-cheeked toddlers with snowflakes on their lashes; no giggling as the kids opened their gifts on Christmas morning. I didn’t get that. Maybe I didn’t deserve it. Hell if I knew, but it sucked. It sucked donkey dick.
Hanging my head, my heart heavy all of a sudden, I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my coat and walked the last half-mile to Marina’s place. I paused on the doorstep, which was adorned with a “Happy Holidays!” welcome mat and a gorgeous pine wreath wrapped in red velvet ribbon, with tiny silver bells nestled among the branches.
I swallowed hard. We didn’t have the best home-life growing up. Many, many Christmases had been spent without so much as a tree, since our mother squandered away every last dime she made on cocaine. But Marina and I, we’d always had each other. We made it count.
The door swung open abruptly, cutting off my train of thought. My sister stood there in faded blue jeans and an oversized Christmas sweater, blinking up at me. I reached up to take my earbuds out, just as she said, “Mackenzie? How long have you been standing out here in the cold?”
I forced a tired smile. “Not long. No worries, Mar-Mar.”
She rolled her eyes, then grabbed the sleeve of my winter coat and all but dragged me through the front door. “Want some coffee, Mac-Mac? I wasn’t expecting you, so I’m gonna have to brew a fresh pot. That okay?”
“Sounds perfect,” I admitted. “Where’re the hellions?”
She grinned toothily at me. “Last I checked, Godzilla was bombing Lego Land with bouncy balls. Pretty sure Batman’s gonna have to pull some magic out of his ass to fix that shit.” Tossing her head back on a laugh, she bustled around the kitchen with the energy of a squirrel.
“Huh. Sounds like Batman’s gonna need some help.” I shrugged out of my coat and hung it on the back of the chair. I’d no sooner sat down when I heard the pitter-patter of little feet come barreling towards us. I chuckled and readied myself for the twins’ hug-attack.
Jeremiah’s dark eyes lit up when he saw me. His smile was huge and toothy, just like his mom’s. “Uncle Mac! Jonah, Uncle Mac is here!” He bounced over to me and threw his skinny arms around my neck. I clamped him in a fierce hug, ruffling his mop of dark hair. The twins were the spitting image of my sister. God, I loved them so much.
“Uncle Mac!” shrieked Jonah, doing what looked like an interpretive dance on his way over. His socks were mismatched, one red and one green, and he had a Batman action figure gripped in one hand. He waved both arms in the air. “You gonna have dinner with us, Uncle Mac-Mac?”
I scowled at Marina, who’d given me that damn nickname. She only giggled. “Nope, not tonight, buddy.” I had plans to drown my sorrows in a bottle of cheap red wine and a couple slices of pumpkin pie. It just wasn’t the holidays without pumpkin pie. “Hey, I heard you guys went and saw Santa.”
They began to squeak and dance, chattering loudly about going to the mall and seeing Santa Claus and his elves. “He smelled like cinnamon gumdrops,” Jeremiah gushed. “Andhe gave me a candy cane, but I said I didn’t like peppermint, so he gave me a blue one instead. It tasted like blueberries!”
“His knees were kind of bony,” Jonah admitted. “Momma said it’s because he’s not at max-fluffiness. He’d better eat a lot more cookies and milk, so he can fill out his big red suit.” He laughed. “We don’t want a skinny Santa Claus!”
“Hey now,” I warned, bopping him on the nose with one finger. “Don’t judge someone for their weight. Didn’t your papa teach you any better? Huh?” I raised a brow. “Maybe Santa’s on a diet for health reasons.”
“Yeah.” Jeremiah giggled. “Maybe he has dia-bee-teez like Gramps. Don’t be rude, Jonah. Rude, rude, rude. You heard what Momma said. If we’re bad, we go on the Naughty List and we’ll getcoalin our stockings.” He squawked and hopped off my lap.
“What did you ask for for Christmas, Uncle Mac?” Jonah asked, curious.
“Why don’t you two go work on your Christmas lists, hmm?” I could’ve groaned with relief. Saved by the sister. When the boys trotted out of the kitchen, I shot her a thankful smile. She patted my arm. “I got you, little bro. Have some coffee.” Sliding two mugs across the table, she joined me with a knowing smile. “What’s good, Mac? You look so sad.”
I swallowed around the sudden knot in my throat and took a long gulp of coffee. It was rich and sweet from the peppermint mocha creamer she’d added. She knew how much I loved my coffee decadent, but not even the tingle of mint on my tongue lifted my spirits.
“I dunno,” I lied. “Just holiday blues, I guess.”
