But could I? Could we?
Did I want to?
I caught Brenden glancing at me as we passed the old school bell tower on the edge of town. His eyes softened as he took a deep breath.
“Do you ever miss it?” he asked, his voice quieter now. “Us, I mean. Back when things were simpler?”
Another pang of nostalgia hit me in the chest, sharp and sudden.
“I wouldn’t call high school simpler. But sometimes,” I admitted, stopping in my tracks and looking up at the tower. “But I don’t know if I miss us or if I miss who we were then.”
Brenden’s brow furrowed slightly, and he turned to face me, hands jammed into the pockets of his coat. “I get that. I think I’ve changed a lot since then.”
“You think?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Okay, I’ve definitely changed. I’m not the same guy you dated in high school, Bri. But …” He paused, as if trying to find the right words. “But that doesn’t mean the old parts of me are completely gone. The ones you liked, I mean. The ones you …” His voice trailed off, leaving the space between us heavier than before.
Tightness coiled in my chest. I was glad I still had my hot chocolate cup to hold in my hands as my thumb scraped against the side of the plastic lid.
“Just like I’m sure you’ve changed too. For the better. We’re adults now.” He smiled. “Though I can see that you’re still the cute, funny, smart, creative girl I knew. At least from what Gina was telling me. It surprised me when she reached out, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was right, you know?”
“I know,” I whispered. “I just … I’m not sure I’m the same person I was either in a lot of ways even though it may seem like it.”
“I get that. Trust me, I get that.”
“Maybe that’s what makes this feel so strange. I’m sure Gina had good intentions.”
Brenden reached out and tucked on my hand to stop. He stepped a little closer, his eyes locking on to mine with an intensity that made my heart race.
“Maybe,” he said softly. “But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe it means we can learn about who we are now and if we still fit. I mean, I think we do, more or less. It feels like we would.”
I took a deep breath.
This was sort of what I had hoped would happen, wasn’t it? That someone would fall into my life? Sure, I hadn’t expected it to be someone I already knew, but …
I looked at Brenden and smiled.
Could we really figure this out after so long? Wewerekids. Or breakup was natural in a way when we were going in different directions. I didn’t have hard feelings towards Brenden. I wouldn’t be walking out in the cold with him if I did.
I shook my head slightly, the cold air biting at my cheeks. “I don’t know, Brenden. I don’t want to mess things up. This is nice.”
“I agree.”
“Really nice to see you, honestly. But …”
He smiled gently, his thumb brushing against my cold knuckles. “We don’t have to decide anything out tonight. This is a carefree, casual date! We’ll take it one step at a time.”
There was another part of Brenden I had known from high school.
He always had a plan. He was so straightforward and logical at all times.
It was easy to let him take the lead.
“Because I’d really like to see you again. Sounds cheesy, but it’s really been too long. I know you’re not ready to jump back into anything. At least, that’s the vibe I’m getting, aside from, ya know, the dozen dates you’ve been on lately.”
I covered my face with my hands.
He laughed again, not deterred. “But I keep thinking that this feels a little too good to be true—that Gina reached out to me and we are both single at the same time. I’d like to see where this goes. If you’re willing.”
