Josh and I sat there in silence, the weight of what had almost happened hanging heavily in the air between us. I could feel his gaze burning into me. My heart was still racing from our close encounter, and I struggled to compose myself as Gina disappeared into her room.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Josh turned to me with a look of urgency in his eyes.
Was he going to say the words I wanted my brain to scream even though it very much … didn’t?
That this was a mistake.
Though, it wasn’t. Out of everything in my life, I could confidently say that our kiss didn’t feel that way.
He adjusted, maybe to get up and make his way to the bathroom or leave altogether.
Maybe I should leave?
I made the move to stand, but his hand caught my wrist, gently pulling me back down to sit next to him.
A rasp of his voice whispered in my ear, “I don’t think you’re just something I can get out of my system, Brielle.”
Worse, I didn’t think he was something I could just get out of my system either.
That was certain now.
One hundred percent. And maybe … maybe that was worse than anything else we could’ve done right now.
twenty-two
Joshand I tiptoed around the apartment, talking to each other in only pleasantries, for if we did any more, one of us would suddenly be on the edge of tearing the other’s clothes off.
Now I was thinking about tearing his clothes off.
No. I needed to get back on track.
Getting on track with my life included continuing my schedule of two more dates, which had felt like I was being locked in a torture chamber. It wasn’t that they weren’t nice, though they each had their quirks. They were just…not Josh.
I took a deep breath as I smoothed out the black sweater dress I’d put on for Gina’s first big art show opening. Since her work friends would already be there, answering questions and making sure everything ran smoothly, she had given Josh and me her two complimentary tickets.
“I just can’t believe that none of your dates were winners,” she said as she got ready for the big night. She lined her lips and applied a light sheen of lip gloss. “Or at least went into a second date.”
I glanced at her. “You’ve heard how they went.”
“I know …” She hesitated. “Are you sure you’ve been giving them a good chance? You’re not just humoring me?”
I sighed. “Yes, Gina.”
“Don’t give me that. I’m being serious, but I also just want you to be happy. I appreciate that you’re getting out there, and honestly, that was the main point for the dates.”
“What do you mean?”
“Would it be freaking amazing for you to fall in love and have this great story? Of course. But it’s also good to see you getting out of the house and kind of getting your spark back.”
“My spark?”
“Yeah. I mean, not that you lost it. Just—you know what? I don’t know what I’m saying. I feel like when we moved back in together, you were kind of serious and quiet and—you were stressed, I know. But lately, you’ve looked happier. Lighter. Maybe it’s that you are writing again too. Writing actual fun stuff.”
Or a few other things.
“You might be right.” If anything, I did feel a bit less … stressed, like I had been before. Especially now that no new jobs were being posted anywhere for the rest of the year, it looked like.
“I really like that dress on you.”
