“What are you doing?” I screeched. Pulling my hand away from my mouth, dark-red lipstick stained on my palm.
A tall and bulky body indented the grass. He laid between two headstones in the middle of the walkway. Crutches and an overfilled backpack had been flung to the side. “Midterms, am I right?”
I stared down at the prone form, blinking up toward the ever-darkening sky. He had to be kidding.
“It’s September.”
The very much alive body shrugged. The same guy who had stared at my necklace outside the dean’s office.
Ryan Gardner.Of course it was Ryan Gardner.
He turned his light-blue gaze back up to the wispy clouds in the sky with a light huff. “I’m debating the meaning of life. You’re welcome to join me.”
I raised an eyebrow, settling my hands on my hips as I stared down at him. “I never took you as emo.”
Again, Ryan shrugged. When he scooched over, the movement caused his hair to plaster against one side of his head. He patted the ground next to him.
“Yeah, no thanks.” I looked back around for anyone who must’ve trudged up here with him. Unfortunately, there was only him and me. “I’ll leave you to it. Thanks for freaking me out. I have to go in case this existential crisis in the cemetery turns into something I can be blamed for.”
“I thought it was a graveyard.”
“You have to have a church for it to be a yard.” I couldn’t help but correct him.
“Huh.” He nodded thoughtfully. “Never knew. Learn something new every day.”
Right. Well …
“Good luck with whatever is going on here. I have a few things to deal with of my own. Only in my case, I’m going to do so in a not-fucked-up place—in the library.”
The to-do list I was avoiding went on and on, especially now that the one thing I had kept at the top of my list the past few weeks was likely to disappear any moment now.
“See ya around.”
Taking a step away, I paused. Should I really leave him there? “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Just contemplating life.”
“All right then. See ya around, maybe.” Or likely not.
He lifted a limp hand, letting it fall back down against the cool earth.
Turning away, I made my way back down the rocky slope of the cemetery, glancing back twice to see Barnett’s running-back golden boy still lying there. It was a feat Ryan had managed to get up here without collapsing. At least, not collapsing before he clearly wanted to, between headstones like a very alive zombie.
For some reason, I always believed I was the only one who came up there to think. There was something a bit metaphorical about the dead and the living conversing to figure out what the heck to do with the time they had so much and so little of, all at the same time.
A little morbid too.
As if to remind myself of the wonders of life, I stopped into the SUB. I got a look of concern over the amount of sour gummy worms I purchased and stuck the package into my backpack. Twisting it over my shoulder, I zipped the front pocket back up before making my way by the few others who were staying on campus for dinner. They lounged at tables, sipping on soda and laughing with one another. Some of them were already dressed for their night out to wherever the secret parties were this week. Though, in the end, they weren’t all that secret when half the campus was called by some unforeseen force down to the Row or crammed into the few university apartments nearby.
I never knew how anyone ever managed to get those with their own kitchens and living spaces. Then again, I wasn’t sure I would know who to live with to fill the apartment anyway. My own little dorm on the edge of campus was perfect.
I reminded myself of all the reasons why, trying to gain a little positivity after my walk and watching the sunset to clear the day away.
By the time I made it to the library, the sun was completely down. Crossing my arms over one another to keep the cold from setting in, I pushed the front door open, where the library hours were posted from seven in the morning to midnight.
I waved a hand toward the student librarian who was finishing up checking in books. They didn’t wave back. I headed back farther toward the offices. There were only a few still lit with desk lamps.
The glass door made a whoosh sound when it parted open.
