I huffed a short chuckle.
“Did you have fun?”
“I did.”
“You seemed … alive.”
I cocked my head. “I’m always alive.”
More so with every minute, I felt like. Especially standing in the kitchen with them all. Again, I was reminded of the beauty of Barnett, of this house, from the moment I’d knocked on the door.
From the moment Vadika had said that she would have no one else as her orientation partner.
From hearing Ryan laugh for the first time to him reaching out to almost touching the crystal around my neck. Bright and curious and so unexpectedly kind.
That strange tugging feeling pulled gently in my chest. I glanced behind me toward the hall leading to the living room, where the music that had been turned down low had since disappeared.
“No, you’re alwaysliving,” explained Gertie. She placed her hands on the table to take the weight off her back. “People forget the difference.”
“Do you think all this is actually going to do anything?”
Gertie glanced around her kitchen until her gaze landed back on me. “I think it already has.”
After a moment, I nodded, looking back down to my hands. “Everyone else leave?”
“Vadika’s parents came to pick her up,” Gertie said.
The stove was off. Spells and the intention-filled apothecary I was set to take to the Barnett campus were ready for their owners and packed away. Only a few were still sitting on the sill, basking in the moonlight that caught through trees and passed the windowpanes.
“They did?”
“They came by a bit ago. She told me not to wake you.” Gertie chuckled.
“What time is it?”
“Late.” Gertie offered a hand. I gently took it as I stood up. “You should go up to your room and get some rest if you plan on doing anything tomorrow.”
Gertie led me into the hall toward the stairs. We passed the living room.
“Of course, I also suggest that you find your friend somewhere more comfortable to spend the night. Neither of you is fit to leave at this hour.”
Pausing, I stared at the tall form draped over the floral couch cushions. Ryan’s one arm was flung overhead. He was breathing steadily, one leg falling over the side to the floor. His bad knee stretched up onto the coffee table.
He looked almost at peace for someone who obviously didn’t fit. On the sofa. In this house.
Yet somehow, this image would remain ingrained in my head. I could see him and his soft lashes against his cheeks.
Even when I blinked.
Gertie nudged me in the right direction. “Go. This old woman is going to get some rest.”
I watched my friend move away from me and toward the stairs, taking them up toward her room before I managed to reply. Slowly, I took my own steps forward. Crouching down, I leaned over Ryan, unsure of exactly what to do. How did you wake a sleeping man?
The one time I had woken my father when he fell asleep on the couch after Mom died, telling him that he should go to bed, he cried. Tears leaked down from his eyes worse than at the funeral we had all been so prepared for.
He hadn’t, on the other hand, been prepared for the empty side of the bed. There had always been a reminder of how someone else should be there, so loud he couldn’t fall asleep at night.
Before I could question it, think on it any further, I swept my hand down his arm gently. “Hey, Ryan.”
