“What else? She looked at me like I was the stupidest person on the planet.”
“Because you were so turned on that you came? I don’t know about you, but I’d take that as a compliment. Whether or not you had ever had a lot of experience before, she was supposed to be there to make you feel good, and she didn’t.”
“I tried to explain to her exactly that and everything else.”
“So, she knew that she was pretty much your first? I mean, you had no need to tell her, and yet—what the hell?”
“About to be my first. It didn’t happen, obviously. She pushed me away after I did tell her a version of the truth,” said Ryan. “Then, she sort of told a few peopleherown version, as if that wasn’t more embarrassing.”
The rumor Vadika had attempted to relay rolled back through my mind.
“She’s a backstabber.”
“Sort of.”
“That bitch.” If he wasn’t going to rage, I would for him.
“That’s another way to put it that I won’t disagree on.” Ryan conceded to my snarls of irritation.
Who did this chick think she was? If I didn’t know who she was already, I’d figure it out. Then, there would be some karma to pay.
“Luckily, it blew over relatively quickly—until now. I now realize it must still be sticking around to be talked about by people.”
“None that care.”
“You don’t care that I’m a virgin?” Ryan asked.
“Not unless you care that I definitely plan on sacrificing you in some shape or form now. A twenty-some-year-old almost-virgin male is a hot commodity these days.”
He laughed, knowing I was kidding.
“No,” I said clearly. I flashed him a smile. “I do not care in the slightest that you are an untouched flower.”
“Nearly untouched.”
“She’s a fool for doing that to you.”
He shrugged.
I pulled his face back toward me. “I’m serious.”
“Is that so?” He almost looked amused as I forced him to stare at me.
“Yes, it is. Listen to me. There’s nothing that is shameful or wrong about you, your emotions, or the energy you want to share with others in whatever way. Your desires are power. They are what makes you who you are, and anyone would be lucky to witness that kind of magic.”
Ryan’s face softened as he stared at me for a long moment. “Ever think of giving the psychology route a go?”
I whacked him in the arm. He still didn’t move away. His one hand reached back out and gave my thigh a light squeeze. I stared down at that large hand.
“You’re not cursed,” I said. “You just have a lot of repressed people forcing their opinions on you. You also apparently have had a touch of bad luck.”
“Maybe it’s turning around,” Ryan said with another light smile, looking at me for a moment before he let out the question, vulnerably poised on the tip of his tongue. “So, you’ve had sex before?”
Something caught in my throat. Slowly, I tried to joke. “Yeah, I have. My family was much less involved than yours. There was no breaking down doors because of a little groping.”
That was for sure.
“You don’t really talk about your family much.”
