“What else is there?”
“The job is already taken.”
“By who?”
“Essie.”
It was always supposed to be Essie. She had basically been born in this house. Celeste’s water literally broke in the entryway like some sort of prodigal daughter of whatever gods ruled over the house that day.
She had come into the world in this house.
I’d just walked through the door.
“Celeste’s daughter who is, like, fourteen?” Ryan asked.
“She’s fifteen right now, and it isn’t like Gertie’s set to keel over anytime soon, Ryan,” I said.
“The family drama here is unbearable.” He put his hands up, as if it were almost too much.
“Now you’re making fun of me.”
He pressed his lips together. “Not intentionally. Promise.”
His endearing nature was almost making me smile with him. Instead, my shoulders slumped with a sigh. I needed to pull myself back together before everyone else wandered out here and dragged the two of us back toward the firepit. I could already hear someone shuffling around, likely also spying.
“I think,” Ryan stated, considerate, “sometimes you need to stop worrying about what is right and wrong. It just is. When that happens, it’s more about what you want. It doesn’t always have to be about anyone else.”
I let his words sink in, looking at him carefully to see if there was anything but earnestness there.
I patted his arm. “Maybe you will be a good elementary school teacher.”
“I doubt I’ll be giving a lot of motivational speeches,” he said. “And that’s just what I’ve been telling myself lately.”
I shook my head. “You’re able to tell things how they are.”
It was a power I certainly had never been able to gain. Another reason perhaps I shouldn’t accept Gertie’s confidence in me to take over all of this. Whether or not it needed a lot of monitoring these days.
All these decisions might have been my wants, sure, and yet I always hated fallout. And with Celeste, there certainly would be a confrontation once she heard.
If she heard,I corrected myself.
My brain already didn’t seem to understand the difference.
“So, what else do I have to look forward to for the rest of this equinox?” asked Ryan, glancing back over his shoulder.
The others were already starting to drift outside of the house with preparations and a much less traditional lighter to start the small pit for warmth. I must’ve been out here longer than I’d thought. The air was colder than I remembered before, sweeping across my shoulders with a fine mist from the river before Ryan put his own arm there.
I didn’t push him away as he turned us around back toward all the action and bickering voices.
“A few things. Unless Faith and Ana get carried away again.”
* * *
Ryan tookhis seat next to me around the small yet slowly building fire. Ana let a blanket drift between us over our shoulders. Sharing, Ryan stretched the blanket over my back before pulling the other corner around himself.
We were certainly snug.
I adjusted myself, careful not to tug on the tasseled quilt.
