“I’ve made my choice.”
“The choice was made long ago,” Celeste argued, turning her chin in the other direction, unable to simply look at me.
I wanted to bark a laugh. At the very least, I still had enough sense of mind to hold back.
“Celeste.” Gertie took a deep breath, “I know this might come as a shock from your previous understandings, but Luella became very clearly seen in my eyes and in my prayers as the successor of this house. It was my choice to make as well, though I will not stop you from sharing any concerns you have with me.”
“And she is simply going to be staying in Barnett as if it were her home?”
“It is my home,” I said. Warmth spread through me at the words. I had asked the other night, when I was feeling lost and unseeing, for the universe, the stars even, to take me home. “This is my home.”
Celeste stared at me, pressing her lips together. “I see then that the decision has been made. Thank you for inviting me over, Gertie, but I need to go and … reflect on some things.” The final words twisted sourly in her mouth.
“I understand,” Gertie said calmly.
No one said a word as Celeste gathered her purse and turned back toward the front of the house, leaving us behind her. She was supposed to be here for me and for the coven this morning even if it didn’t end up as she’d so perfectly planned for herself. But then again, she had obviously never been my biggest fan. So why would she pretend to be pleased?
What is wrong with her?
“Well, for one,” said Ana, “I’m excited.”
I stood up. No. I was not going to just let this go. Not anymore. Whatever was on my expression must’ve conveyed that as Gertie attempted to reach out to grasp my hand but missed.
“Lu, don’t,” Gertie called out softly in a warning. “This isn’t the time.”
Then when was? I was already up. My blood boiled over, and I couldn’t help myself anymore. I might have been making all the wrong moves, all the wrong choices recently, but for once, all at once, I was making them.
“What is your problem with me?” I spat the words out at Celeste when she was out the front door.
The door snapped shut behind me, so no one inside would have to hear as I stood, looking out on her from the small porch.
The put-together woman blinked at me as she turned around. At least she now had the decency to look me in the eye. “Excuse me?”
“I asked you a question.”
“And you assume that you are owed an answer because you barked it at me?”
“Just as much as you feel you are owed to somehow take over this entire coven for yourself or your daughter. So, yes, I do feel, after the past three years of my life, that I’m owed an answer as to why you constantly feel the need to pick and pick andpickat me. Why do you try to make me feel so small and insignificant compared to your perfect life that you didn’t even have to work for to get here?” I let it all out. There was nothing holding me back any longer.
I had so little to lose.
Pursing her lips together, Celeste paused at the final part of my exclamation. “That was never my intention.”
“What?”
“To make you feel insignificant. That was never my intention,” she clarified.
“Then, what—”
“What my problem with you and all of this is that you have so much to learn yet, dear,” said Celeste, working her jaw as she stared at me. “Obviously.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You should want to go to school and be whatever it is that brought you there to be. You should desire more. To flourish.”
“You, of all people, acting like you care about what I possibly want or don’t in this world is funny, Celeste. For once, I am finally doing something for me. You told me to figure out what I’m doing in this world when I really have no idea. You might’ve meant a major so that I could get out of your hair and run off into a corporate job, where I’d be in a cubicle all day, but no. I’ve decided. I’m choosing me. I was brought here for whatever reason for me.”
All I could think of then was the story that Gertie had told me so many times. Over and over, I’d thought of that story since it’d reappeared in my head last week, of the house that brought in wayward women when they had nowhere else or didn’t know where else to go. Drawn by the stars.
