He studies me for a beat, then sighs. “Fine. On one condition.”
I arch a brow. “Which is?”
He leans in, his lips brushing mine, soft and warm. “We keep Shadow.”
A laugh bubbles out of me against his mouth. “Deal.”
He pulls me tighter into his arms and rests his chin on my shoulder as his body finally begins to relax beneath mine. I let myself melt into him too. Not because the monsters are gone, but because we’ve decided to stop letting them define the life we deserve to live.
Chapter 36
Sidharth
Taking a sip of my black coffee, I lean forward with my elbows on the dining table, my gaze fixed on Nisha. She’s out on the balcony, knees pulled up, her last night’s oversized T-shirt slipping off one shoulder. She’s typing away on her laptop while talking to Shadow, who watches her like she hung the damn moon, his tail lazily thumping against the floor. Can’t blame him. I’m just as awestruck by my girl.
My fingers begin to tap against my cup. Nisha looks rested, like she actually got some sleep last night. Unlike me. I fucking tossed and turned all night. I thought putting those bastards behind bars would bring me peace, but it clearly didn’t.
Maybe it’s the detective in me, or maybe it’s just the way she’s gotten under my skin. She’s made me so damn protective that I can’t shut off my cautious mind when it comes to her. Even last night, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to hold her close, feel her breath against mine, and stay right there. But I knew staying in her room with Sunita Aunty under the same roof would only make her uncomfortable. So I shoved my need down, kissed her goodnight, and forced myself to walk away.
But when morning came, I couldn’t hold myself back. There was just one thought churning in my head… I needed to see her before I set foot in that station and tore into those bastards.
I didn’t even think twice about ringing her bell at seven in the morning. Nisha herself opened the door and gave me that knowing smirk, the one that said she knew I’d show up. Hell, even Aunty gave me that look. But I didn’t bother hiding it. They’d better get used to it, because I’m done pretending to keep it subtle.
My mind drifts back to when Aunty went into the pooja room for her prayers and Nisha and I sat at the breakfast table. Her favorite stuffed parathas were right in front of her, but she barely touched them. I could tell something was off. Before I could ask, she told me she was thinking about switching from online to offline classes, trying to give me every reason she could think of to prove she was ready to give it a shot.
But I wasn’t even close to convinced, and I guess she saw it on my face. Because the next second, she shook her head, grabbed her laptop, and walked straight out to the balcony. And damn, if I didn’t feel like the biggest asshole alive.
Fuck, I know I should be happy for her… support her, even. But the thought of her going back to college doesn’t sit right with me. Not when Karan won’t be there to watch her back. That’s not something I’m ready to come to terms with.
Damn it. Why does it always come down to choosing between her safety and her happiness? Why the hell can’t I give her both? I want to give her the damn world, but some days I’m barely holding it together just to keep the possessive, protective side of me from taking over.
Even now, all I can think about is… what if she goes to college and….
My thoughts are abruptly cut off by Sunita Aunty’s voice.
“She’ll be fine,” she says, sitting beside me like she knows exactly what’s eating me alive. And honestly, it doesn’t surprise me. Knowing Nisha, she’s probably already talked to Aunty about going to college. So I don’t bother questioning Aunty. Instead, I turn to her.
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“No, I don’t. But then again, we never really know anything for certain in life. All we can do is have faith in her strength.” She pauses, her hand resting gently on mine. “Sidharth, she is learning to breathe again, and you must let her.”
My stomach clenches. “I know this is about her joining college. She spoke to you, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she did. And she also told me you caught Deepak and Prakash. That’s what gave her the space to even think about going back out there.”
“I don’t know, Aunty. I’m still not convinced the worst is over. And now, her going back to college, it’s not something I’m ready to stomach. What if someone follows her again? What if she breaks down in the middle of a class? What if—”
“What if none of it happens?” Aunty cuts in, her hands squeezing mine. “What if this is what will make her happy? And what if, without meaning to, we’re the ones holding her back out of love, disguised as fear?”
My jaw tightens, fists clenched around the coffee mug. “I want her happiness, Aunty. God, I always do. But the thought of her out there, unprotected… it kills me.”
She nods slowly. “I know it does. And I’m not asking you to stop caring. I know you can’t. What I’m asking is harder. I’m asking you to trust that she can manage just fine without constant protection.” She gives me a soft smile. “Let me confess something. When she first told me she wanted to go back, I was scared too. My first instinct was to say no. To keep her tuckedsafely in this house where I can see her. But then I realised that’s not living.”
I inhale sharply.
“I hear you, Aunty. You’re right. And so is Nisha.” My gaze drifts back to the balcony to my girl. “But this fear of losing her… it just gets the better of me sometimes. No one really understands what it’s like, living with those what-ifs clawing at you every damn second. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t shut them out.”
“You’re not going to lose her, Sidharth. You’re just scared because you love her that much. But, beta, you have to understand that every step she takes has to be hers. And right now, she needs your trust as much as your love. Maybe even more.”
